The One About Immigration Policy (I'm not buying the shit you're selling)

There’s no other way to do this but David Cameron should take his entire administration to a fucking Bukakke party. They should choke on some massive mandingo cock while they’re at it as well. Why am I being so vulgar? Well, when I get mad I get vulgar. Confusing people make me mad as hell!

So, it’s no news that I spent 6 years getting an English education. No, I don’t hold an English passport, but I’d kind of like to. I’ll be honest getting treated like a second class citizen just because my passport is green grinds my fucking gears. I’d like to go somewhere that’s not in ECOWAS without having to go through the bother of getting a damn visa. Don’t look at me like that! You’re saying Visas are the natural order of things, but I’ve got news for you, THEY ARE NOT WHEN YOU’RE FUCKING NIGERIAN!! But I get it. Nigeria’s a little bit of a shithole or whatever. I’ll get over it. I’ll work hard, and I’ll get rich so that I’ll have thousands and thousands of naira/dollars/pounds in my many bank accounts, so that when they ask me for my bank statements they’ll see that there’s no way I’d ever want to overstay, when I’m doing so well in Nigeria. Maybe I’ll even steal it, because fuck knows that until recently they didn’t give a flying fuck about where the money was coming from. I’m only telling you that I’m Nigerian so that you’ll see that my fees were more expensive than yours. When you were paying £3,000 per year for a degree, I was paying £10,800. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m a rambler. I will never be direct about anything.

Yesterday I read that Vince Cable and David Willets intend to launch a drive to recruit more international students. They want to recruit 90,000 students over the next five years. Vince Cable said, "We have created an attractive environment and we should sell this in a positive way. We are anxious to reassure you we welcome overseas students and there is no cap on numbers." Is this a joke. Did they not see this?

I’m sorry, nothing about that says that anybody that’s not English is welcome. That says, “Get the FUCK OUT!!” That says, “We see the damn deadline on your visa, you better get out as soon as possible or else we’ll arrest you, and beat you and then we’ll deport you.” I’ve still got a couple of months left on my visa, but I don’t want to go back. I’m even skeptical about going back for a Masters. Even if you aren’t illegal, these vans are giving the impression that immigration is a serious problem, and when you get there with your black skin, yellow skin or brown skin and that different or tropical sounding name (Chukwuemeka, or OluBunmi, or Danladi) some people that you run into will sort of, kind of, immediately assume that you’re illegal, and treat you as such.

If this was the only thing going on, maybe you could say it’s still alright, it’s not that bad. But let’s imagine that I was a clear eyed and very green 17 year old, who had just been accepted into an independent school. Say my parents weren’t very rich but they pulled money from God knows where to send me to England. And say my half term was in November and my mum had never been out of the country before. She might be labeled as high risk and then she’d have to pay £3,000 for nothing. Yes. I know she’ll get it back, but what if she doesn’t have £3,000 lying on the damn floor or growing on the money tree. Are you insane?

And let’s say you hustle and you work hard and your parents, they hustle and they work hard, and you make it through university, and you get a job that pays over £20,000 a year, with an employer with a valid tier 2 sponsorship license, then just hope you’re within the 20,700 visa cap that they put in place in 2010. And they say they want 20,000 more international students over the next five years?

And then let’s talk about the society itself! Is it welcoming? No. I know the whole world is looking at the Trayvon Martin tragedy and saying America’s so terrible, but some countries should shut up and look at themselves properly. In England, the racism is so covert it’s overt. Like when the lady next to you on the tube repositions her bag so that you can’t get to it, or when you’re trying to flag a black cab down in London at night and they pretend that you blend into the darkness, or when you try to get a job and you don’t because your name is as tropical sounding as mine, or when there’s an incident at a club and you run for your life because you know that if they get you, you won’t get off with a warning.

So be real, be consistent, and be honest, or go suck on a million knobs because at the moment, I’m not buying the shit you’re selling.