so you're thinking about womenswear for men...(lessons from Kanye and Zara)

A couple of hours after I posted my interview of Lakin, the fetishist (I mean that in the best way possible. He isn't a sexual deviant as far as I know, it's just that Lakin has "things" for so many things. As I know of no synonym for thing but fetish, fetishist it is) he asked me what my next post would be about, and I said, "who knows?" Because I almost never know what the next one is. It's a little bit like life I suppose. I can't tell you what will happen in an hour but I do hope desperately that my dissertation learns to write and edit itself. That would be lovely wouldn't it?

If you attempt to misconstrue my sentiments, you are wicked and I hate you. No, I don't really for even in my hatred, there is love. :-)

The world we live in has evolved beyond all recognition. It is so evolved that it has become a challenge for those still living and not past their first half century to keep up with the trends of the times. The other day Papa Afam (God Bless him! The man does more than you can ever know) saw me in a pair of black skinny jeans from Topman and pondered aloud with a look of absolute befuddlement, "What the devil are those?" You would think that someone who had an afro bigger than my bottom and flares wider than my torso in the 70s would refrain from such pronouncements, but that obviously isn't the case. One of these trends is androgyny. I cannot tell you the number of times, I have looked at someone and thought "What is it?" "Is it male?" "Is it female?" "Is it Justin Beiber?"

As such it is no wonder that traditionally male items of clothing find themselves on female catwalks and vice versa. 

But must there be a boyfriend everything? You know what I mean don't you? Boyfriend blazer, Boyfriend hoodie, Boyfriend Oxford shirt etc. Just get a bloody boyfriend, raid his wardrobe and be done with it!

I think that's enough setting of the scene don't you? 

So you're thinking about women's wear for men. You don't know why you're thinking like this, but it has occurred to you that it may be cool in a rockstar Mick Jagger kind of way. You know what you want to look like, but you don't quite know how to get there. What you do know is the look you're after isn't one frequently catered to by most well known designers of menswear. 

You want to look like this

That's a shirt/blouse from Celine and it is exceedingly cool and not at all mind boggling. You need not stretch your imagination to think of how you could possibly wear such. It's either a too large shirt or a cross between a shirt and a tunic. It is hardly extraordinary. You could do so much worse. You have probably done so much worse. 

You're probably not that comfortable with looking like this. 

That's from J.W Anderson's 2013 Autumn/Winter collection. I'm probably not going to be wearing this any time soon.  I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it. If you want to rip the clothes off the model, more power to you. Do your thang. Be your own man, or woman. 

But even that is better than this

I wrote about them here: http://www.theramblingsofamadman-afam.com/2013/01/meggings.html and I think they're offensive. If you've clicked on the link and read what I had to say about meggings not too long ago, then you are a star. You are a gem among gems, and I will hold you dear forever. I really haven't got anything more to add, except that they are obscene. 

So you're thinking about womenswear for men... This may be a good thing if you aren't thinking of picking up shorts or jeans or trousers. No matter how great the colour or the pattern, they simply cannot cope with the defining thing that makes you a man. Yes, I mean your penis. Don't be bashful. Say it with me, "P-E-E-N-I-S". It is impossible to pack well in them. Believe me! I once accidentally took my mum's jeans to boarding school. It was remarkably unfortunate as those were the only pair of jeans I brought for the term. At this boarding school, there were no half terms or exeats, so you went home with whatever you brought at the end of the term. The fit of them was the stuff of nightmares. 

If you are thinking of kaftans and tunics then it may be a good move. Zara has two items that I wouldn't mind having or wearing. 

That is a printed Kaftan. Without the model it really doesn't look that feminine at all, which is a good thing. You want to be looking like a prince, not a princess. While it's perfectly acceptable to want to look like a princess, if you do you shouldn't take any advice from me because you won't end up looking like a princess. I like things like this and that's probably because I'm African. It looks comfortable and easy to wear. The only disadvantage is that it's completely made out of polyester, and I'm not the biggest fan of polyester. Why wear polyester when there's cotton? If you fancy it, pick it up here 

This on the other hand looks incredibly feminine on the model. But it is still tunicy and Africany so I love it anyway. It's made out of cotton, but the embellishments are polyester. I liked it so much that I bought it. Yes, I bought it. As I'll be moving back to Nigeria soon, where the temperatures hover around the late 20s and early thirties all year round, this is the easiest breeziest item of clothing I'm likely to find. If it were any breezier, I would be naked, and we can't have that can we? My naked form would seduce you, because I am a sexy beast. I didn't come up with that. Believe me! Read my about page. If you quite like it, then you might as well buy it. It's about time that you started being good to you. Buy it here

I'm sorry for the poor quality of the photograph, but it is what it is. It is a selfie, in the library. I was more worried about the looks that screamed, WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING!! than I was about the quality of the photographs. I really do like the shirt/tunic. 

Happy Days,

Afam