Let me Dandify you: Outdandied by Asos

As I write this feature, it is fifteen minutes to five in the morning. I just recently had the opportunity to examine the items that asos has on offer this summer. I apologize in advance for my sombre outlook but I can't be blamed. I have not seen the sun in over a week so I have come to the conclusion that the Manchurian sun has been kidnapped. I have to say that I was surprised at asos. They seem to have outdone themselves this time around. Well in all honesty, this is no huge achievement for they stock so many clothes that one would be surprised if they didn't have what one was looking for. Let's begin.

I began with the shirts.

What is it with the yellows this season. Maybe I'd be in a different mood about them if the sun was out. But as things stand now, I look outside and then I look at my screen. I struggle to understand how Richard Dawson came up with it. It is said that there is a fine line between genius and madness or that one man's madness is another's genius but I find this quite extraordinary. It is either the worst thing I've ever seen or the best thing humanity has created. It reminds me of some Nigerian traditional wear. How is the shirt so shiny? I would buy it just so I could stare at it. I have come to the conclusion that it was meant to be framed. Richard Dawson must be commended for he has undoubtedly outdandied the dandiest of us. Even Porthos (from the three musketeers) would be taken aback by the extrovertedness of this creation. It is not surorising that the shirt has been reduced from £160 to £76. If you think of it as a shirt then it's definitely overpriced, but if you think of it as a piece of tapestry then we're in business.

We are lucky that asos remembered that we are not all so bold as to attempt the above.

I know what you're thinking. This is just another denim shirt right? But yes you are quite right. It's not that special until you consider that the shirt is now £22.50. It's been reduced from £45. That my friends is a bargain.

This shirt was constructed in cotton Chambray. It looks refined. I did not know that asos made such nice items of clothing. Highly commendable effort. £18.

American Apparel deep V neck t shirt. Well, it is widely known that American Apparel make good clothes. For £15 you could do so much worse.

Don't judge me, but I quite like this. It's really practical! It has a water proof pocket in front, it's light weight, it folds well, it's orange and it's made by K-Way. I imagine that it's fluorescent as well. £60.

I love the colour, and I love the collar. At £32 they're definitely overpriced. Please refer to H &M for a better deal.

When I look at these navy blue dungarees by diesel. I can't help but smile. I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a fashionable pair of dungarees, but that's no excuse not to have them. They are £240 and may or may not be worth it. But really, who cares?

It's a nice jumper. Grey goes well with beige and with the way the summer's looking it's not a bad item to have in your closet. It's £18. Enough said.

Nothing beats a good shirt. £28

It's definitely a good way to show your depth in terms of music. It's also a good way to create depth because the world will assume that you're a twenty something year old Pink Floyd fan and that in itself is a great achievement.

This is a denim shirt by Ralph Lauren. It's been reduced from £75 to £52. You may think that it's still a little too expensive but a good shirt is an investment. It'll save you from buying 10 other crummy ones. You can make the lesson into a decent jangle. Twice as strong, twice as long.

Isn't he cool and patriotic? This is the SHIRT of the SUMMER because not only does it support the rolling stones who are infinitely cool, it also has the Union Jack on it's tongue. Between the diamond Jubilee, the Euro cup and the Olympics the Union Jack on a t shirt has never been more on trend. You needed this t shirt last year! But you can get it today for £18.