I finished my exams last week Thursday and I've been in a little bit of a phunk since. This phunk is unlike all the others. It isn't an infusion of melancholy, it's more like a confusion has afflicted my bones. After spending the better part of one month in the Library and the Alan Gilbert Learning Commons I no longer know what to do with myself.

This is a photo taken by an account on flickr called the University of Manchester Library. I didn't know that my University library had a flickr account but no matter. The Alan Gilbert Learning Commons appears to be quite the modern building made out of more glass than concrete (I do not know if this is true or not, but it seems plausible). It was originally intended as a 24 hour building but we students know that it cannot be relied on. How can a building that's spent more time shut than open be reliable?

When designing the interior the University thought it best to fill the building with comfortable chairs and open space. I believe that the chairs do not pass the comfort requirement. What is the Comfort Requirement? University chairs must be so uncomfortable that they dissuade anyone from catching a wink or 40 but not so uncomfortable that they render one incapable of walking. Those chairs are far too comfortable.

 After the exams, I celebrated by going to the official University of Manchester post exam Student Party, Pangaea dressed like this.

The theme was Alice in Wonderland. I got a Zebra onesie from primark, chopped off the head, and the mane and called it a Cheshire Cat. Ingenious? I know!

During my time in Manchester I have become quite the fancy dress connoisseur. There is no theme I cannot crush! Observe below!

That time I dressed as a cross between a shepherd, an angel and a wise man. The theme was the nativity. It is evident that I, Afam exceeded expectations. That is what you call a "threefer" (A three for one)

I wore this a year ago. The theme was the circus so I went dressed as a sexy clown. Admittedly it wasn't my best idea, as it was winter and snowing.

However the week took a turn for the less exciting and more sobering on Tuesday. I  no longer find it surprising how the events preceding the receipt of tragic news gain some sort of supernatural sharpness after the news has been received.

A friend that I went to school with died of non-hodgkins lymphoma. It wasn't surprising. I'd known he had been in a bad way so I wasn't surprised. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't mourn, so that night while looking out of my window on the 21st floor of this questionable Student Castle that manages to be simultaneously brilliant and inconvenient I wrote the following,

"Ser Mbakwe second of his name Heartsbane, has seen fit to go adventuring where I cannot presently follow. I can only wish him Godspeed on his most recent endeavour. I begged him to leave me a ledger of his travels that I may follow. There's really no need to mourn. How can you mourn the adventurer that's gone before you to lands untried? You can only wait your turn. I'm sure that one day in the near of far future I shall follow, and I know I will find him waiting."

Is it not spectacular? The view was made to get lost in. Of course a few weeks ago I couldn't quite get lost in the view because the pitter patter of water dripping from the ceiling was most distracting. Such is the nature of the building. It has a carrot and a very ample stick. I have never encountered such a punitive structure. Just as you manage to fall in love with its dazzling newness it reminds you that it is fully capable of making your life uncomfortable. But not so uncomfortable that you pack your bags and flee.

 In the Spirit of my non-mourning pledge, I continued on as if nothing had happened. My struggles are my struggles, best not put on full display. The world doesn't stop so that you can come to terms with whatever has happened, and by extension you cannot stop the world so that you can come to terms with whatever it is that has happened. You can only steal moments of meaning from your pre-existing routine. To break from this routine is to invite doom. Two weeks off can easily turn into four weeks off and four weeks off can easily turn into 8 weeks off and before you know it you're on a six month bender hung over somewhere in Bermuda. And my grief isn't sizeable enough to warrant that sort of reaction. 

On Wednesday, I went to my first ever photography society meeting. I joined the Photography society in September but my lack of a camera and my distaste for borrowing things prevented me from attending any previous meetings. Growing up in my house in Nigeria you didn't borrow things, to borrow was to admit to a sort of greed for the things of the world and was symptomatic of the greenest sort of envy in the world. There was a time my brother, Gbaddy borrowed a neighbours game boy, the swiftness and severity of his punishment left me rolling with laughter. When I was younger, I wasn't my brothers biggest fan so I delighted in his punishments as he delighted in mine. I was always quick to tell on him. At the time I imagined that I was more suited to be the older one. My dislike for him, and my Jacobian tendencies ended with one particularly nasty fight during which I found myself branded with a toothbrush. I still have the scar.

I bought myself the Nikon Coolpix S8200

It isn't the biggest or the best, but I quite like it. It's got the CMOS censor and that allows for pretty decent night time pictures. It hasn't got a manual mode but I can work around that.

The society meeting involved following the gang to Castlefields in Manchester for a wirewool experiment and some light painting. 

This is Castlefields. It's quite a nice area especially for Manchester. Don't get me wrong I love the place but it's just not the prettiest city.

Maybe Manchester like Lagos, looks best in pictures. You'd never guess that it was 2 degrees Celsius and extremely windy  when I took that photograph.

Now for the stuff you've all been waiting for, the light painting and wire wool action.

That is a star.

This is what happens when you set wire wool on fire and spin it around in circles.

I quite like this one.

The Wire wool, though beautiful once afire and awhirl only lasted a maximum of 13 seconds, after which it burnt out. Even though 13 seconds is a short time, we managed to capture the best bits of the event. It got me thinking that maybe it's okay that some things don't last. If they did we wouldn't know that we were meant to appreciate them.

Happy Days,
Afam.

I must apologize for the reduction in the number of  posts. You must all be suffering from withdrawal symptoms, but you mustn't worry I'm here with the required fix of me, Afam. I'd rather you stayed addicted. 178 page views a day is not a statistic that I appreciate (#justsaying). As you must know by now I have returned for my third year at the University of Manchester (is it at or in? I think it might be both but who cares?). I have only been here for three weeks and I am already monumentally busy. It is impossible to be any more occupied than I am but I am to blame for this. Yes, I am to blame because I have joined all or most of the societies that Manchester has to offer. I am currently a member of the following societies:

The interesting board games society, the Mancunion (this is the student newspaper, I have already written two articles for them), Squash, Trampolining, Dance, (My mating dance has been lacking inspiration. My moves on the dance floor have not been drawing as much (any) desirable attention and as such business has been slow. As a result of this I have gone to the Dance society for some lessons. We seem to stretch an awful lot but I don't mind, flexibility is a thing to be encouraged in all young men.) Swimming, Athletics, Cross Country, Photography, Anime, Creative Writing, Literary, and a thousand more. If I were to mention them all you would grow bored and I can't have that.


Even though I have been busy it seems that the Universe has still provided me several opportunities for fun. Take Monday for example. My bag was laden with books from the library, my eyes were puffy and tired, my shoulders were stooped with stress and my gait was deflated. My step was missing the extra four springs I'm accustomed to. As I trudged between lectures the Universe delivered me a Deus Ex Machina. Like a beam of sunlight passing through the clouds I saw the most divine contraption. It was just by University Place (aka the tin can building, because it is shaped like... yes! you guessed it, a tin can!!) I was helpless to it's allure. I had to ride it, and ride it I did. I rode it until my eyes danced in their sockets.



Can you see my smile? Does that look like the face of a man who has just had a full day of lectures? This is why I love the University of Manchester. I have been to several other universities and I have never once encountered such an exciting contraption. I suppose that I should thank Linklaters for providing such an entertaining piece of machinery.


Linklaters is a global law firm that's currently hiring. If you fancy your chances, then feel free to apply there.

I thought that I would have no more excitement that week, for good things normally come to me in trickles not floods. I was wrong. On Wednesday I stumbled upon something quite shocking.

I wasn't dressed like that for fun. It was the theme of the squash social... Retro Sport. I dare say I fulfilled the parameters set before me. I was very retro indeed.

 Yes, that's the name of my old school plastered across the arse of a first year student who plays water polo. What are the odds?


 At this I was puzzled. I am well versed with the dynamics of fancy dress but why on earth did he have to consign a dead fish to his buttock? Surely this is a violation of the fish's rights. In hind sight he made me feel a little better about my ridiculous apparel, so un-named Cheltonian, I thank thee.

At the same event I witnessed the initiation of the University of Manchenster's Varsity rugby squad.
:) . He was drinking a pint of lager (beer) from his shoe. Most of them had to do this. After downing the pint he slipped his shoe back on and I thought that that was the most cruel part of the challenge. Can you imagine his fowl toes sloshing around in beer? Vile! Or how badly his shoes would reek in the morning? Worse than a homeless man's dog!

After all of that, it is hardly surprising that I broke my phone later that night. I should have known that my entertainment would come at a price. As they say the Universe giveth and the Universe taketh away.

Happy Days,
Afam

My days were pretty dull in the Northern Village that I had chosen to live out my days. I consigned myself to the boring life of an unemployed couch potato. I took out the trash, trimmed the hedges in my dressing gown and took long walks. I lived the life of a mere mortal. but there was something inside me dying to come out. It was the same thing that led me to have the following conversation after a night out to Sankeys in Manchester.

Premise: Eragon and I had made the quest to Sankeys (a very popular nightclub in Manchester), where we out danced and out partied every soul in attendance. The ladies were not very pleased with us outshining them in every aspect of the art that is clubbing so we ended up going home together. This is the beauty of a bromance.

Eragon (to the taxi driver): Drop us off at Sainsburys please.
Afam: ygfulgqwauifhiq34y84yt18
Eragon: What are you on about my dear fellow?
Afam: Bleh
Eragon: Brilliant! Do you remember anything from tonight?
Afam: Have you got my shirt?
Eragon: You don't recall whipping it over your head like a cowboy?
Afam: I don't think I heard you correctly.
Eragon: I think you did.
Afam: I'm not capable of such debauchery.
Eragon: I think you'll find that you're more than capable of such debauchery. I was certainly very entertained by it. Just make sure you apologise to Gina in the morning.
Afam: Certainly... I love you man.
Eragon: I love you too. Now get out of the damn cab.
Afam: I can't!
Eragon: What on earth do you mean by you can't?
Afam: I can't feel my legs.
Eragon: What do you mean you can't feel your legs? Get out of the cab!

As strange as it might sound I really could not move my legs, so with herculean effort I hefted one leg after the other and placed both feet on the ground outside the taxi. I then pushed my self off the seat with the full stock of vigour awarded a man of my station. As you can imagine this was a little more energy than the task demanded. My head sailed over my centre of gravity and I planted my face in the middle of the road. This undoubtedly clumsy manoeuvre had two advantages:

1. Once I had kissed the floor I found that I had regained control of my legs.
2. After I jumped up, I was greeted with applause and laughter from the entire street. I bowed very low indeed for applause and laughter are very rare indeed. They must be appreciated regardless of the circumstances.

It was a Grand Adventure!

That thing inside me was hungry for an adventure of the same calibre as the one above.

A good friend knows what you need and stands ready to provide it before you yourself know that you might have needed it. I Afam, being special, am gifted with a fair number of these. That very day, Asquith invited me to his birthday dinner and clubbing night. I didn't want to go, rather I wanted to go but I knew that if I should dare make the trip, my wallet would commit suicide. london has a tendency to do that to wallets. That's the beauty of London, those that live there are well aware of the money sucking tendencies of the city, and those that don't fantasize about the bright lights and huge monuments.

Enter Gbaddy, Nia, Jasmine and Chimba

Jasmine: London's amazing. I can't wait to graduate and get a job there.
Nia: The grass isn't always greener.
Gbaddy: That's a euphemism and a half, London is a hard cold city.
Chimba: Stop hating. I have no complaints about it and I've lived there all my life.
Nia: But that's because your family is loaded.
Jasmine: It really isn't that bad. I don't see what all the fuss is about.
Gbaddy: If you have ten pounds in Exeter you can live for a week, but if you have ten pounds in London, YOU DIE!!!!

He bangs the table and screams

Gbaddy: YOU DIE!!!! 

Somewhere in that exchange lies my point. London is not the ideal place for a perpetually broke student like myself, especially one who has champagne tendencies. So I developed a plan that would see me to London all expenses paid, or all expenses to be paid later...

TBC

Happy Days,
Afam

Ps. It just occurred to me that some of you might be in need of disguised cameras, I know Mama Afam has been on the look out for some. This one's pretty decent Eyenimal Pet Camera - Complete Set (Google Affiliate Ad)