Bread Review: Walk the Moon - Talking is hard: Experiments with Spray Paint

I haven't done a Bread Review but that doesn't mean that I'm any less fond of music than I was when you first met me, Afam, the neurotic. I shan't bore you with loads of preamble, I'll get on with it.

We never actually seem to talk about the things we should really to talk about and that's mostly because talking is hard. For instance, there should be discussion about why there are no combs or brushes that are made specifically for the straightening and unkinking of pubes. If you don't know what pubes are then you're in luck because I'm feeling extra generous today. Pubes are the hairs that guard your reproductive jewels.

While I was writing this blog I got struck by a brilliant idea. The idea man that lives inside me said, "Afam, you sexy devil you, why don't you do a blog within a blog." And I said, "Why not you ingenious little idea man. It'll be fun." So welcome famzers, afamzers, friends and enemies to my first blog within a blog. So this is the very Afam guide to listening to walk the moon. You're about to listen to walk the moon, and you should, because they're the dopest band in the history of dope. What do you do? First off, you grab some paint and paint yourself. It's the rainy season in Lagos, so I went for Spray Paint. But it turns out that that was overkill because it's been a couple of days since and I've still got a blue treasure trail. Why do you need the paint? It'll open you up to the power of their optimism. It'll be like soundo-synthesis. I made that word up myself. Yes, I feel very good about that right now.

Anyway, detangling in the shower has become a little bit of a problem. I won't say more about that because I do not imagine that you feel that you need to be informed of my situation down there. There needs to be something for the gents who don't manscape. There's a school of men who believe that there's nothing more manly than a three inch long fuzz for the man beast to sleep in. I belong to this school.

This is your face after shut up and dance. And this is me asking the lot of you to shut up and dance with me. Talking is so unnecessary. Why talk with your mouth when you can talk with your body huh? 

Talking is hard and that's exactly why this album couldn't possibly have come at a better time. Walk the Moon's most recent album is called Talking is hard, so they've obviously got all their slices in the Afam bread basket because I agree with the sentiment completely. I still haven't talked about anal rape with my dad Papa Afam, and that's obviously something we need to discuss after we saw The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo in 2012. If we ever have that conversation I'll probably spontaneously combust and die.

Listening to Walk the Moon is like being hit in the face with the sound equivalent of of paint glitter, rainbows, nostalgia and mud. Their hooks are infectious, their lyrics gloriously unpoetic (Musicians, we don't always need to spend days trying to figure out what you're singing about. Give it to us straight and we'll thank you for it), and their talent is undeniable. Even better is the way they've made sounds from the 80s accessible to people who don't know anything about the decade. And as if all of that weren't enough several on the tunes are so catchy that they'll linger on in your head for days after your first listen. It's almost exactly the same way you never forget how a butter and strawberry jam sandwich tastes.

They aren't new to me. I fouNd Nick, Eli, Sean and Kevin in 2013, back when I rattling Manchester in both the winter and the summer. I slept on couches in random houses, and I was up against several walls on very many west mezzanines. Those were the days. I even saw the four of them live when they made a quick stop in my neighbourhood.

Walk the Moon.
I took this photograph. Clap for me. It isn't that great but it's mine. One day, I'm going to get it printed, then I'm going to frame it, and life will be awesome. Believe that. If you don't go away. This is an Afam hate free zone.

Sometimes all you need is music that makes you dance like a disemboweled madman who's had coke for breakfast. If I ever have a paint party, do not doubt that they'll make up the vast majority of the chunes that I play.

This is your face after you've listened to the entire album. Work this Body will blow your mind. Avalanche and Side Kick will open your market for L-O-V-E. 

 And I did all of this because sometimes you only get one chance. One glance and the avalanche dropped. One listen and my heartbeat stopped (adapted from Avalanche - Walk the Moon).

Ps. If you know of any good way to get spray paint off your body without scouring yourself with a metal sponge please let me know. I'm pretty sore in places. AND DAMN! I FORGOT TO GIVE IT A SCORE! Five Loaves out of a possible five.