Writer's Journal: Don't be Goldfish


The first real post of the year is always difficult. New years are always difficult. We hit the reset button and aspire to be better or worse and this is not something that is easily done. It takes a lot of thinking, and introspecting to avoid the goldfish resolutions that plague us from year to year.

Now you're probably wondering what a goldfish resolution is, and as always I am here with the answer.

A gold fish resolution is a plan of action that is forgotten almost as soon as it is made. Some of you have probably already realised that you are guilty of this. Your diets have failed, and the gym membership you got with the last of your early Christmas salary has gathered dust, because you have learned just as you did last year that the treadmill is not for you.

This year, I didn't make any new year resolutions and with good reason: I am terrible at them. I learned this in 2014. In 2014 I made the incredibly foolish choice to spend the year being offended. I raged against the idiots, and the vagrants, and those who had the great misfortune to look at me the wrong way. My resolution led to displays of such immaturity and stupidity that I would prefer to forget that the entire year happened.

2015 was better. I made no resolutions and I managed to get my life moving on what looks like a semi decent path. I'm still a long way from having a concrete plan, but I can tell you without a doubt that where I am now, is infinitely better than where I was a year ago.

After the lessons taught by the last two years, I have decided to do the following.

  • Never make a new years resolution, because I am not a goldfish and I do not intend to die this year. 
  • Make life resolutions because I will not be young forever and I need to not be poor. 
  • Be genuinely good to myself and this includes doing good things that I absolutely loathe, like eating tomatoes. Raw tomatoes are disgusting, and radishes are evil.
And that's it really. Let the year begin!


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