School Your Face by Temi Dollface

19:23:00
Whenever I talk about Temi Dollface, I tend to go a little bit mad. The last time I did, I dressed up like what my father would call an orphan, and jumped around the garden like a March hare. These are things that I will no longer do. I am no longer in that magical place between 18 and 25. I now acknowledge that all my bad internet decisions will come back to haunt me.


If my memory serves me correctly, a thing it almost never does, this is Temi Dollface's second music video. At this point I would be at fault if I didn't write a disclaimer in the name of objectivity.
I know Temi Dollface and I quite like her. She's a friend of mine. I'm literally incapable of having a truly terrible thought about her. However, I have separated my rather public love from the task at hand. I was born to be many things (a son, a deeply unfashionable individual, a hobbit) but I wasn't put on God's increasingly brown and smog-filled Earth to be one of the many press release echo chambers on the internet.

A press release is what the PR people send you, and an echo chamber is what you get when everybody seems to be talking about the same thing, and nobody bothers to tell you anything different. 

The music video grew on me. I had the thing that happens when you see someone that you know in a movie. I cringed like a madman. I imagine that this is what Rihanna's mother does whenever she leaves the house. She's bound to be thinking something along the lines of, "Why didn't anyone tell me that I would never stop seeing my daughter naked." Or something like that.

By my third watch, I could watch it without spasms, and by my fourth, I was positively enchanted by it. It is cute, and weird and then it is cute again. It also has a certain unrehearsed quality about it that lends itself to the afore mentioned cuteness.

As I stepped off the London Underground this evening, I thought, "She'll never be a Pop Princess will she?"

It's her second music video, and I still have no idea what she looks like in a bikini. I don't know if that's progress or regression, but I like it.

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