Seeking a friend for the end of the world AND The STYD Launch Parry featuring Feyboo.

15:10:00
That is what I've been doing all this time, seeking a friend for the end of the world, but I think it's been futile, because I had him all along. Maybe the value of the search was realising that my friend for the end of my world was me, and that the better I knew myself, the closer I'd be to finding the friend for the end of the world. I don't expect this to make sense, but it is my blog, and I can do with it as I please. You, my dear famzers, just have to live with it, or go away. I'd prefer it if you stayed, but we all do what we must. I was going to end it there, but why waste the words? So I'll move on to the STYD launch. It was fabulous, and I mean that with a capital F. Say it with me, Gone With The Wind Fabulous. (smirk)



Before I continue I'll tell you a little bit about STYD. STYD.com.ng is yet another online fashion store, that stocks lady items, for ladies, and men interested in womenswear. Actually strike that last bit, there's nothing there that I could possibly wear, and this is disappointing. What happened to androgyny? Or skinny jeans? Now I've gone from being quite interested to being in a perpetual state of whatever man. It isn't quite that bad but, I was hoping that there'd be something in it for me, and there isn't - not really. I suppose it could be a gift spot. The clothes are affordable, fairly nice, and they deliver anywhere in Nigeria for free. I would have ended this blog right here, if they hadn't given me stronger than strong cocktails, pretty damn good small chops, and a better than decent dj. I danced like a dervish, and this is always and everywhere a good thing. 

And let's get this over and done with shall we?


That is me. Afam. I didn't think too much about this before I put it on you know? It's only a uniqlo white shirt, a reiss belt, and a pair of trousers from All Saints, but I quite like it. I'll probably do a repeat of this at an event where the exact same people will be in attendance. I don't have enough clothes to be a full fledged fashionisto, so I'll go on inhabiting the space between the ordinary and the weird. I only have one thing to say about this. I wish Bellanaija would help me sell my market by putting my name at the bottom of the picture, but Z listers are not afforded such luxuries. The hustle is real. 


Yes, Yes! First we've got really really good looking girl I can't remember. I met her somewhere... heaven only knows where... but I must have been sleeping or something because she's pretty damn fly and I'm very very single. Mama Afam says that whoever I get with must love me to distraction, she obviously doesn't so I guess that's that then. No unrequited love for me.


Candy floss! Candy floss is something that won't ever go out of style. It's so sweet, so nostalgic. It's literally like eating your childhoos. Some girl stole mine from me. I wasn't pleased.


Here we've got the LSF PR girls. It isn't a great shot but they were laughing and I had my camera on me so that's a no brainer no?

 I don't know what to say about this one. They were models, and they were talking. Snap snap. They kept talking. Snap snap. Their discussion was animated. Snap snap. I didn't listen in.
 I think I'll call this one baby got back. You can see her back can't you? Well that's back enough for me. As they say, anything more than a handful is wasted.
 Inneresting. Verrrr Inneresting. I dare say she's flirting with me. I don't blame her. I'm slicker than the average, hotter than the mediocre, and somethinger than the something. It's possible that she only looked at me like that because of the big daddy DSLR around my neck, but I won't pay any attention to that.
 She is really quite exquisite, braids and all. Looking like a 19 year old Stella who has no need recovering her groove.
 Now get your hands out. Yes, hands out, because we're going to sing a song.

Clap for a nigga with his rapping ass
Blow a stack for your niggas with your trapping ass.
Tom Ford. 
Tom Ford. 
Tom Ford.

I probably shouldn't say nigga, but to me that song means spray the Feyboo because she's pretty darn fly. It's so mod! 


Mod. 


Mod. Mod. Mod. Mod. Mod. Mod. That's my buddy, Feyi Adesanya of the Modish method. I like taking pictures of her, because it's always such good fun. I'm like, Feyboo go stand there, like that, not like that, to the sun, to me, eyes to me, legs apart, wider, not that wide you're not a two dollar ho, no, not that close, you're not a red headed step child, just there, hold it, hold it I say, look away, away I say, yes, that's it, that's it, and we've got it. Go away. 


I had a good time. Yes, this is what a good time looks like.

Happy Days,
Afam
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Notes on stuff and the Maki Oh This Side Up exhibition featuring Temi Dollface.

13:47:00
This one is tricky because I'm not that excited. That not to say that I'm not excited, it's just to say that I'm not crazy with it. I've got pictures for days, but, I can't seem to turn them into whole well rounded bits of content as often as I'd like. So today, I'm clearing out the backlog, and while I'm at it, I'll come clean about the entire blog as well. I love it, but it's got so many problems! I mean the damn thing is virtually unmonetizable, and this is apparently quite bad, so I'll be starting another one, I think. Maybe I'll shift some of the stuff on here to there, but I'd like it to be different. Anyone with eyes to read can tell that I'm not the same guy that I was when the blog first started. I think I'm a better writer, but I'm definitely not as bold as I once was. I mean, Tiwa Savage blocked me on Instagram for that Wanted article I wrote that time and that's saying something. I thought that I was being fair, but she obviously disagreed with me. I don't mind this really. I'm just a poor lowly Afam so when someone as famous as Tiwa is decides that you should be banned from viewing her heavenly pixellated visage, it's a pretty big deal. Me and my couple of thousand followers/readers (I'm not sure how many the lot of you are, but I'm grateful. You've blown my mind. Half of it is my work; my blood; my effort. But the rest of it is all you, my famzers, who both freak me out and delight me in equal measure) will dance around your burning pillar of scorn. Don't feel bad, it's the way of the world. I'm not above being salacious, or risque, and I'll do almost anything for an extra page view. Of course, this is tempered by my overbearing conscience, and my roving critical eye, that ignores typos and corrects malicious sentiments. No hard feelings eh!

Believe it or not this one isn't about Tiwa, and my dear Famzers you need not fear my desertion. I'll always be somewhere, some of my work will always be public. And I'll need time to build the new blog. I imagine that it will take at least another year. I can't have Papa Afam yelling at me because I've called myself a madman. I'm not ashamed of it, but I operate in this space between pleasing him and pleasing myself. It's a tricky space because it means that at the end of the day neither of us shall be quite happy with how I turn out. Of course you're expecting me to say, "to hell with that old man! I'm going to do what I want to do." But that would be a waste of time. Such things are easier said than done, and since I'm not prepared for that just quite yet, I'll save you the trouble.

Anyway this one is about Maki - Oh's exhibition, this side up. There isn't much to say about it other than her skill is masterful. I looked at the pictures and thought, "my God! There's so much work here" and that was pretty much it. I didn't really resonate with it. I thought the 20 or so images visually stimulating, but apart from that I was as dead as a bone inside. There was no lust, no passion, no sadness, only a profound sense of coolness for coolness sake. That's all there is to say about it really. Now, we should just bludgeon on ahead and talk about the people.


Here, and by here, I mean above, we've got Temi Dollface who I've become friends with. I quite like this picture. It isn't one that you'll usually see, but I think it charming.

 This guy right here, Chiba, is my neighbour. I met him one afternoon while I was lunching with Chef Fregz. He remarked that my dishevellery reminded him of Lakin Ogunbanwo. I was flattered. He is far too kind.

And here we've got Zara Okpara of Lisa Folawiyo (formerly known as Jewel by Lisa). She's always so gracious. We had a decent conversation even though I was smelly. I didn't shower that day because I was both hung over and late to work. In hind sight I should have showered. I hear that perfume, and body odour isn't fair on the nose, but when there's a job to be done, the only thing that matters is that it is, whether you smell foul or not. 

 This one is one of my favourites. She is stunning to me. Her name's Ada and I mean it when I say it's always a pleasure.
Here we've got Remi. She's wearing Rayo, and I have to say that I really liked it. It's flattering without being too revealing. It suits her. 

To be honest I prefer this shot of her, even though it's out of focus. 


More Temi Dollface. No, I don't know the people she's with. All I know is I was a wee bit obsessed with her that day. I took several pictures of her. She was so animated! Usually she's posing and that's fabulous, but I like her best when she isn't posing. You see her all the time at events all big eyed and doll pretty, but when she isn't on stage or on some red carpet or the other, she's really quite ordinary albeit in an interesting way. You lot should bear in mind that my idea of normal is skewed towards the weird.
Koch. I used to listen to him when he was on the beat 99 fm. He's nice enough, I think, but I didn't have eyes for him, which is fair enough. 


Temi and Maki. Maki doesn't like to be photographed so she gave me the fakest, most forced smile I've ever seen. I suppose we aren't familiar enough with one another yet. But this will probably change with time. Photographing people is tricky because you want to capture them as you see them, but they really only want to be captured as they'd like you to see them. I didn't find the balance with Maki, but I'm still alive, and so is she. There'll come a time when I'll take the shot to end all shots, and I'll never have to bother her with my canon again.

And here's another one. Sadly, I didn't take any more pictures that I'd like published. And, I don't think this blog post is funny. I'll do better next time.

Happy Days,
Afam

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Adventures in the Sip Gutter.

18:37:00


Blogging is slightly weird now. I now write with such regularity that the thought of banging out a blog; even a terribly shitty one no longer fills me with the heeeby jeeeebies (autocorrect wanted to make that hereby jeebies. How awesome would it be if heeeby jeebies was hereby jeebies?). I feel like I’m being completed somehow. Like all my unprofessional quirks are being yelled out of me. Sometimes the yelling and the blocking is grossly inappropriate but sometimes it’s almost necessary. I don’t know if I’ve revealed too much. I know I can’t be sent to prison or sued about any revelations I make about the work I do here, because my contract remains unpresented and unsigned. 

I quite like these words. I shall continue. 

Blogging is slightly weird now. I can do it all the time, but I don’t necessarily feel like doing it all the time, and it’s awesome to have a voice (a public voice) but sometimes I don’t really want a public voice. That sentence was punitive. Kudos to you if you made it through to the end. Yes, where was I? I have a voice and that means I’m meant to talk about stuff, and rant about bad customer service. I know not everyone knows that I blog and stuff, but I’m tired. Please. Learn my name. My name is Afam. I blog. I blog for me. I blog for the Sauvage. I blog for Omargardens. I’m not half bad at it. If you do something that really sucks in front of me, it’s likely that I’ll snitch. It’s like a restaurant serving a well known food critic rat shit in his soup by accident. You just don’t! Like, really? Really? Really? Really? Really?

Last night was a really moment for me. I was basically hauled from the right of the Sip gate and deposited in a gutter. It was only one leg, but still, DUDES! Suede and gutter shit don’t go! It’s not like I was rowdy or aggressive, I mean I’m so zen right now that the very idea of arguing with a fly is exhausting. The only thing I did was ask the bouncers why I was gated. I don’t quite like being gated. It’s embarrassing you know? And, it breeds bad blood. Before this week I was working out how I would get Sip on the show, but now, I mean I really want to want to because if you can help the tourism industry at all (the show airs in 42 countries in Africa) then that’s a good thing. But I just can’t get it up for them and it’s a shame. 

This has got to be the most pathetic bad review ever. :(. 

I’m not going to make any grand proclamations of abstinence, but I do not think my spirit or my pride will let me return there soon, and that too is a shame. I guess I could try but I’ll start smelling gutter the second I get close to the building. People shit and piss in there, so it’s not exactly the safest place for a leg to be. It’s really quite terrible. But do you know the worst thing about Sip? It’s that I cannot for the life of me tell you one thing about the place that is even remotely remarkable, apart from the fact that it is popular. Think long and hard about it. Do this with me? 

I eat out, but I’ve never eaten there. I love cocktails but I’ve never had a cocktail there. I really really like Star (Nigeria’s best beer), but I’ve never had a Star there. I cannot appreciate the decor, because it is too dark, and I think I prefer it that way. The whole thing is so nouveau that it might as well have been shat out of Alamieyeseigha’s (he’s this really corrupt Nigerian ExPolitician) arsehole yesterday.

Actually this is really quite dull. I have no righteous anger to summon. I’m really not that affected. I do feel a little bit fragile, but that could also be because I’ve had a hell of a day, and I’m still hung over. Don’t feel sorry for me, I think I quite like being hung over and being at work. These are the stories I want to tell of my early twenties. Obviously I can’t do this very often at all, and today’s a Saturday so it doesn’t quite count, but I hope you know what I mean. 


Oooh I don’t know if I should text the manager the link to my adventures in the Sip gutter. I’m a little bit shy, about it. Do you think he’ll think it was well written?
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Band Aid 30? Do Better Bob.

14:35:00
I haven't spoken about anything current that isn't fashion in a really long time. I mean I like clothes and stuff, but they aren't everything. To prove how they're not everything, I'm writing this one naked on the toilet. Toilets should be the writing HQ of the world. Say you're at work and you're taking 5 so that you can conclude a thought piece about the social significance of Kim Kardashian's arse, the moment that you reveal that you're in the middle of a particularly violent session you'll have bought yourself thirty minutes of peace. I'm also listening to Britney Spears, but that's entirely by the way, because this one isn't about Britney Spears, it's about Bob Geldof and what a nasty little shit he is. I'm not sure that it's particularly mature of me to call him a nasty little shit, but after I heard that Band Aid 30 song that's exactly how I felt.

I think I've lost myself, and if I'm lost, then you're lost too right. I must set the scene. There's this very very famous has been called Bobby Geldof. He's quite a nice man. I haven't met him personally but I quite like one Christmas song he wrote called Band Aid 20. By quite like the song, I mean I like the end of the song because it goes,

Feed the world. Let them know it's Christmas time.
Feed the world. Let them know it's Christmas time. 

I like those lines because they aren't terribly specific. And let's face it, feeding the world, not just Africa but the whole entire world is a lovely sentiment. So, Yay Bob! Well done Bob! I like those three lines so much that I forget about the rest of the song is questionable. 

I'll walk you through it. 

It's Christmastime, there's no need to be afraid.

 Lies. Christmas is a scary time of year. I don't just mean from the Nigerian perspective, it's a global fact that everything is a little bit more dangerous at Christmas. Drinking goes up, Stalking goes up, Burglars get apprentices, Armed Robbers pick up side gigs as kidnappers, fraudsters become just as common as shoppers, etc. So there's every need to be afraid. Christmas is not for the faint of heart. Christmas is only good in the places where Christmas is not celebrated. 

At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade.
This too is relative. In my house in Lagos, Nigeria, I will be letting in light. In my friend Ogilvey's house in Gloucester, it's going to be dark by 4 in the afternoon. What is darkness but moon shade eh?

And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime.  
Delightful. Delightful. I'll grip the globe as hard as I can. Hugs for everyone. 

But say a prayer, Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Who are the other ones and how are they any different from me and you? Now dude, you're contradicting yourself. If there's no need to be afraid why are you telling me that there's a world of dread and fear outside my window? Thankfully, I already knew this.

When the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears

This is confusing, because I don't know where he's talking about. I'll assume that he's referring to aliens now, because on Earth, there's always water flowing. And even i water wasn't flowing, I don't think it's possible to cry when you're dehydrated. 

And the christmas Bells that ring there, are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

Wait so I'm supposed to be thanking God for another man's misery? What kind of a Christian/Muslim/Religious person are you? 

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
Thank God for that! Since when is snow a good thing? Ask the homeless man outside your window, Snow = Hypothermia and Frost Bite. Have you ever tried to dress up like a slutty clown when it's snowing?It's not the nicest thing. It's shitloads of nipple erectus and I can't feel my treasure trail. 

The greatest gift they'll get there is life.
Again with the here there thing. But it doesn't matter. Life is brilliant wherever you are. MOre life for everyone!

Where nothing ever grows,
No rain or rivers flow.
Hold on! I think I'm gerring it. Dude's talking about Africa! Are you trying to say that in 2010, there was no rain... that no rivers flowed, and nothing grew? Dude you are wrong for that. Did you not have one cup of Kenyan/Ethiopian coffee in 2010 Bob? You know coffee is a plant right? It isn't the biproduct of African Volcanic ash you know.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 
This is a tough one but I think so. Almost everyone has a calendar now. 

Here's to you?
Raise a glass for everyone
Spare a thought this yuletide for the deprived
If the table was turned would you survive

Very good questions I think. But you need not look too far. There's a suicidal brother not too far from you. All you have to do is give a couple of thousands to Samaritans, so that they can afford a new campaign, that way, when suicidal bruv is about to off himself he'll remember to send an email to jo@samaritans.com, and they'll do everything they can to talk bruv out of it. 

Here's to them
Underneath that burning sun

Isn't this why you holiday in Egypt and Gambia in Christmas? The Burning sun can be a good thing man! All you need is some air conditioning and you'll be A Ok. 

You ain't gotta feel guilt just selfless
Give a little help to the helpless.

We've been through this already. There are helpless people everywhere. Stop implying that Africa's the hoe of helpless people. I don't even feel fine calling Africa Africa. Africa isn't a country and stuff.

DO they know it's Christmas time at all?
It's starting to get a little bit repetitive now. :(

 That was in 2010. I thought we were done with all of that patronising, us them, here there, stuff, but apparently I was wrong. Ebola, presented good old Bob with the opportunity to gift us with a threepeat and he jumped at it. He gave us Band aid 30, aka Band aid 3.0. It's almost identical to the one that came before it, in that it's got a lot of the same lines, so you can infer that the here - there, us - them, thing remains.

It's all the same until you get to,

There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear.

After that it's genius.

Where a kiss of love can kill you,
 I know Ebola's spread through bodily fluids and saliva's one of them, but what of the flu? Isn't the flu a far bigger deal than Ebola? Don't 49,000 people in the U.S.A die from the flu? But thanks for letting us know. Angelique Kidjo sang this line, and in the song, I guess she's the token African person. She's your standard on offensiveness. You're thinking, if she's fine with it, the they're all going to be fine with it. No. I can't speak for that many people, but I'm not cool with it. That's how if I make it out of Lagos for Christmas and end up at a nice New Years Party the girls will be unwilling to pull me because, I'm black, and West African. It isn't fair. 

 And there's death in every tear,
I suppose there's death in a lot of tears. When my dog died, there was death in my tears right? 

 And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom.
The truth of it is, the only bells that ring here are the bells that that they ring in schools. Period. The bells that tell students to move from point A to B and rendevous at point C. I'll be the first to tell you that I have never heard a bell that isn't a clanging chime of doom. Ebola didn't do this to me. This is why my parents are saying, "Go back to school!" and I'm saying "Too many deadlines. Too many bells saying start and stop. I want to be free." Mama Afam's going to confront me about this later. I'll stand at the ready. 

 Well tonight we're reaching out and touching you.
 I don't get this one at all. Don't reach out and touch me please. You might have ebola. Isn't this the whole premise of the song? It's made clear in a couple of lines. 

 Bring Peace and joy this christmas to West Africa.
Even though this line is nice sounding I don't like it. I hate it because it's the sort of patronising empathetic bullshit that doesn't actually help you. It's just so vague! What do you mean by Peace and joy? And where in West Africa are you talking about, because some other idiot is going to hear this song and think that all of West Africa's affected, so when one Edward from Ghana goes on holiday, he will be forced to have the following conversation over and over again...

 Enter Edward and foreigners

 Foreigners: Where are you from?

 Edward: Ghana.

 Foreigners: That's in West Africa right?

 Edward: Yes. 

 Foreigners: How are they dealing with the Ebola outbreak there. 

 Edward: There's never been an Ebola case in Ghana...

 Foreigners: Really? I'm quite sure that there was. It was all over the news a couple of years ago.

 Edward: That was mostly Sierra Leone, Liberia and Guinea. There was a bit in Nigeria, a bit in Senegal and a bit in Mali, but never Ghana. 

Why is comfort to be feared, why is to touch to be scared

This line made me mad. Not only is it a shit line, but it's also sang by Sinead O'Connor who's contorting her face like she's having some sort of fit. When you ask her she'll say that she was so moved by the plight of the affected that she lost all control of her facial features, and that what we saw there on the video was genuine emotion. But we know better. She was standing above a latrine and was suffering from a severe bout of constipation.  




How can they know it's christmas time at all.
:-)

 The song means well. It's seeking to raise money for a decent cause, but the manner in which it does so is inappropriate. You shouldn't have to reduce a few countries to scenes from the worst horror movie imaginable just so you can raise a few thousand quid. Charity shouldn't have to be about the direness of the situation, it should be about the hope that exists there. They'll say that as long as it raises the money needed to by extra beds, and hazmat suits in Sierra Leone everything's good, but what about when the crisis is over. What will you do when there's a stigma against the people you were meant to be helping because you wrote lyrics like,

Why is comfort to be feared, why is to touch to be scared?

and How can they know it's Christmas time at all?

And I'm not being pedantic. All of this rubbish is only contributing to the view on Africa that already exists. So help us, but don't do it at the expense of our dignity. I won't ask a man in need to tell me that he's a poor leper of an idiot, before I give him a dollar. This song does something similar. It has Bono, and Bobby screaming, these guys are poor useless baggers who don't know when Christmas is or what Christmas means in 2014, and as if that weren't bad enough they're living in fear because there's this virus that renders them incapable of comforting or loving one another, so let's step in and give them all of our good good loving because they're too daft to do any of it themselves. It helps your saviour complex, but it doesn't do the people you're supposed to be saving any good in the long run. If you want to help, don't buy that wack ass single, donate to Doctors without borders. You'll do just as much good without spreading the foul message that the song is.

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Conversations with Alcky! Because I'm not an Alcky!

07:24:00
Hello! Hello! Last night I wanted to blog about something because my blog views are the worst they've been in years. This statement is probably factually and statistically wrong, but I don't care. FAMZERS! WHERE ARE YOU? COME BACK TO ME! Do you want me to die poor and unfamous - I can't quite remember what the antonym of famous is so unfamous it will have to be.

As a blogger, people seem to assume that I'm a cool someborri, with weird peculiar tastes, and haunts that are just too cool for school. I don't know why this is at all. I mean people look at me, the blogging struggle is real. One minute I'm cru=ying that nobody likes me, and the next I'm saying, "Yes, I am your leader! Dance with me famzers! Dance with me!"

If by now you do not know what a famzer is, you are terrible and I hate you. But you must know that my hatred is better than my love, for if I love you, and you me, I will only ever disappoint you. Yes. Love is 90% disappointment, 5% lust and 205% warm fluttery things and weird dying pains that destroy you when you're drunk. While I was so afflicted I remember sitting in a corner of Sip shivering and clutching my chest because the alcohol told me...

Alcky: You'll never find love.

Afam: Staaaaaap, I will.

Alcky: Really? See how that one invited you out and proceeded to abandon you?

Afam: I know! Shady ho!

Alcky: Damn shady bitch.

Afam: Dastardly bastard wench.

Alcky: Yes! Yes! And you're a stupid ass nigga, for coming here just to see that shady shady ho.

Afam: Surely it's not all that bad.

Alcky: It's worse. You're here imagining a life with on an island with a bouncer, and where is the shady harvester of hearts? Wait? Elvis has left the building? You are dumb! You are so dumb!

Afam: You can't mean it. Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo must still be here.

Alcky: Who does that! You're ruined now boy!

Afam: Leave me alone you monster! I can't deal.

Alcky: So how shall we punish the beastress? Shall we delete it off bbm, or call it and say things that you won't remember in the morning, but you'll still feel terrible about?

Afam: I think I'll just sit here and mope until I can't mope anymore. I need some more shots of the vodder.

Alcky: More of me. Less of you. I have no complaints.

I think I've written enough. I mean, these are a lot of words to get through to read whatever was going to come after them. And the magic's in the after. Believe that!

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Maki-Oh SS15 LFDW x 2014

07:27:00
I've been meaning to write this one for a while, but when the material is large, it is difficult to articulate completely. I thought it charming. I still think it charming. The clothes are pretty and the cuts, somewhat conventional. Even when she throws in an oversized bow, the scale is not so impractical as to be cartoonish. The clothes are interesting but not so much that they become parodies of the central theme. The clothes come from a cerebral place. She is deliberate in everything that she does. The illustrations of her theme do not come across as random bursts of creativity.  

Her collection is a discussion of both virginity and the virgin. I’d read about it, but I didn’t really feel it until I saw the collection’s film. In the film a group of men discuss the veiled figure before them, before succumbing to the prospect of owning her. You see them reaching into their pockets, pulling out ever so slightly, and reaching in again. It is too reminiscent of masturbation for it to be anything but disturbing. Yet the model sits there, not unaware of their ministrations but accepting of them. Most modern theories would object to this sordid objectification of the woman. She's been reduced to the most basic reflection of her gender; her vagina. So, it is only fitting that the vulva finds itself expressed in the clothes. 

You may not notice this at first, but once you have seen it, you cannot deny it for what it is. It is at the front of the black blouse and in one of the Adire prints that she has become famous for. There's always the question of originality whenever Adire is discussed. While Maki may not have been the first to print Adire on silk, she did it at a time when no one else did, and at a scale that far exceeded anyone else's at the time. There was no flirtation, only full immersion. As a result of this, any one that employs a similar technique will find themselves compared to her. 

Adire isn't the only maki-ism that makes it through. The boxy shapes, the diagonal cuts, the midi and the too high slit also feature. The slit is interesting in this collection because it is only completely shown once. At all other times you are aware that if not for the silk that's laid above it or    the silk that peeks out from underneath it, the model's entire left thigh would be laid bare. 


It is unfortunate that I did not get to see it walk. I did, however, see the clothes on the rack, and they are far better than the pictures can say. The pink blouse with tufty feathery appliqué is neoprene mesh and the black beaded vulva dances. When you see Maki's clothes you do not like them or dislike them. They are greater than that. Even when you would not wear a piece, and this for me is everything she's shown, you appreciate the scope and scale of it. 
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Tiffany Amber SS 2015 LFDW x 2014

12:02:00



Lagos Fashion and Design week ended two weeks ago. I didn't do it like I did it last year, and that makes sense. I'm not the same as I was. Last year it was exciting and fresh and new. The novelty of it spurred me to exertions quite unsuitable to my normal pace of doing things. I do things slowly. I process slowly, and I tire easily. You could probably say that these reviews are too soon, because I'm not done processing. My opinions are not fully formed. But alas, if I were to wait any longer for the sake of processing, you would forget that I was there, and my words would lose whatever weight they had. And that's enough of an introduction. The night isn't young anymore, and in an hour or so,  my words will be tainted by fatigue.

Tiffany Amber is a brand. And that brand has a girl. I cannot quite say that it is a girl I like, for I like my girls to be real fully formed creatures, with complexities, and secrets that their treatment of chiffon often fails to convey. Moneyed princesses and political wives and debutantes are one thing, but I prefer tortured souls and character traits that hide themselves in seams. 

The clothes are beautiful in stride. The models kick, and the fabric follows. There is beauty in that, and there isn't a single soul that would deny it. But what happens when it all stops? When the five foot eight and above hangers stand to allow Folake Coker play to the crowd, are the clothes as impressive as they were mid-lunge? They're not. That's the simple answer. The magic is lost, and the moment that could have been had is too. The lux materials she's used no longer seem as impressive as they were a moment before, and the girl isn't as intimidating as she was when she marched down with her head held high. I do not forget that I was smitten as they walked, but as they stand there and clap, it feels like an undeserving infatuation. It's the moment when you find that your idol isn't worthy of your adulation. I know it well. 

The photographs say the same. They do not elevate the collection as they should. You see that the dress you thought was perfect didn't fit all that well, or that the fabric you thought was richer than anything else shown in those four days wasn't as exclusive as you imagined. It is stronger than her display last year, but whether that is strong enough or not, I can't say. I can tell that her girl will be pleased, but I fear that she hasn't said anything new. In this age when every one begs their designs to transcend the constraints placed by stitches and cuts and slits, is it not a missed opportunity?  
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FASHION AND MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT (F.A.M.E) CONCERT 2014

00:24:00
Hola everyone!! There's this new talent hunt thingy in town. I've read their press release and it's very informative. So read it you twats, afamzers, frenemies, enemies and friends. 


Fashion And Music Entertainment (F.A.M.E) is a talent hunt endeavour, set to discover new exciting prospects in Fashion and Music. 

Staging a Fashion and Music talent show process to provide young individuals between the ages of 16 to 30, the opportunity for their talent to be seen, heard and nurtured.


Objectives:

We aim to stage a Fashion and Music talent show process to provide young individuals between the ages of 16 to 30, the opportunity for their talent to be seen, heard and nurtured, in a bid to transform them from raw talents to socio-economic successes in the Lifestyle industries of Fashion and Music.


The intention of the event is:

• To create a platform for showcasing, and promoting emerging talents in the fashion and music industries.

• To create an enviable scouting point for renowned practitioners and stakeholders in the industry in search of new talents.

• To serve as an avenue for industry networking, appraisal and evaluation.

• To entertain


The Process:

Contestants will journey through a Selection stage to an Audition stage before proceeding to the Finals. This will involve an interactive process, whereby the general public is part of identifying contestants who should progress from the general entry (Selection) stage to the Audition stage by voting online for their choice. Participants are expected to register online at N 5,000 per entry. More details at www.famenigeria.com.ng <http://www.famenigeria.com.ng/>
Entries would be judged on Originality, Creativity, Style, Form and Function.



Prize:

Music: One Million Naira Grand Prize - This will cover personal and professional development, short music course and production of an EP.



Fashion: 1 Million Naira Grand Prize - This will cover personal and professional development, short course in a fashion institute and creation of a capsule collection. To be presented at various fashion exhibitions, and placed on various retail platforms.


Event: Wednesday 17th December 2014 at the Grand Ballroom of Oriental Hotel Lekki Lagos. Red carpet @ 5 p.m. Main event - 6.30 p.m.

The event would define style, class, innovation, originality and ambience of a fine evening.


Judges: Music - DJ Jimmy Jatt, Omawumi, Oscar and George 

Fashion - Sola Babatunde, Ejiro Amos Tafiri, Abubakar Tafawa Balewa


Performing Artistes: Burna Boy, Seyi Shay and Falz 



Event Hosts: Uti Nwachukwu and Maria Okanrende


Tickets: Regular N 5,000, VIP N 20,000, Tables N 500k & N 1m.


EXHIBITION SLOTS: 

REGULAR SLOT: N35,000 (EXHIBITION STAND + 2 EXHIBITOR TAGS + 1 TICKET. ALL ADMISSIBLE FOR THE SHOW)

PREMIUM SLOT: N45,000 (EXHIBITION STAND + 2 EXHIBITOR TAGS + 2 TICKETS. ALL ADMISSIBLE FOR THE SHOW)

Contact: Titi 07055342531 titi@famenigeria.com.ng <mailto:titi@famenigeria.com.ng> 


Visit www.famenigeria.com.ng <http://www.famenigeria.com.ng/> for more information.

Happy Days,
Afam
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