A little under a week ago, the following invitation landed in my hotmail inbox. Yes, I still use hotmail. I'm creative. It's allowed. I planned to attend the moment I got it. There was no question about it. I mean, it's Diesel! Their clothes are great. No, their clothes aren't just great, they're...

When people ask me about the blog I tremble a little. The first question is usually what's the name of your blog, and the second is always what is it about. The first is easily answered, but the second is not. The thing is, I've written so many articles, not articles, random things, and things that...

Aha! I haven't got a lot of this time for this one, but I've always been a little bit of a quickie specialist so no matter. Get your minds out of the gutter. I mean I can write a reasonably long blog in ten minutes no problem. It's the same way I can take a shit in public no problem (read about that...

I meant to blog this one last night, but I fell asleep. Anyway, I heard the funniest sad thing last night. I like sad funny things. You know, the things that make you feel a little bit guilty for laughing. I heard it from Mama Afam, so it's true or it's as true as gossip can be. Sometime in the recent...

Sometimes Nigerians are more than a little bit stupid. We're so stupid that I wonder that education is wasted on us. There are certain things that any member of the modern age cannot be ignorant of like the swastika. What is the swastika? This is the swastika: Whatever the crooked cross may have...

I was featured on bellanaija again...  It was this article: http://www.bellanaija.com/2014/01/16/afam-that-awkward-moment/ I like the article. It made me laugh. But the truth is, it isn't what it was meant to be. It was originally this article: http://www.theramblingsofamadman-afam.com/2013/11/awkward.html ....

Originally published on theurbanemix.com Now, I can’t teach you to sound American. I find the American accent impossible. However, chances are that if you sent me to New York, I’d pick one up in no time at all. My accent has no staying power. It has no sense of self. It doesn’t seek...

So I was walking about in my garden this morning Yes, that is me. And yes, I dress like this when I'm in my garden, because it is my garden.  Now you can see me properly. I'm wearing my Afam Strawhat. The more discerning of you will have realised that I've changed my name on twitter from...

I meant to write this one on the eighth of January but I didn't get the chance. I hate it when I give excuses like I didn't get the chance because the question excuses like that beg is, why? What were you doing that you didn't get the chance? My answer is I was thinking. I was thinking about where I'd...

I know that people mostly say that about God but it's also true of Papa Afam. Papa Afam puts the clothes on my back, the oil in my hair, the loreal skin products on my face, the dashiki on my torso, the straw hat on my head, the tiny food on my plate (I don't eat a lot and then I complain about being...

Before I begin, I'll apologise. This post is and will be vulgar. I used the future tense there because I haven't written it yet. It's currently a series of disorganised thoughts in my mind, but I know that they'll come out one way or the other. Come out... I laughed when I typed that. It's related to...

I've got a glass of Bacchus tonic wine in front of me. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty grim. It's exactly what you'd get if someone took some port and mixed it with tonic. It tastes like medicine and not in a good way. I suppose it's an acquired taste. Yes, it must be. I assure you that by the time...