A little under a week ago, the following invitation landed in my hotmail inbox. Yes, I still use hotmail. I'm creative. It's allowed.


I planned to attend the moment I got it. There was no question about it. I mean, it's Diesel! Their clothes are great. No, their clothes aren't just great, they're banging. And they're not banging in the Oh My God! I'll need a mortgage to afford that way, they're banging in the yeah it may pinch a bit but they'll last forever way. I bought my first pair of Diesel jeans when I was 17. I have four pairs now. I think I'll do a blog about all of them tomorrow. That sounds like it'll be fun doesn't it?

That's them. They're amazing. They've faded so nicely... I swear, I like them more now than I did when I got them. Don't ask me about the long john situation. I'll explain. It's winter in Manchester, where I used to live before Papa Afam yanked me back here, and I missed wearing long johns, so I wore them anyway.

 I'm 23 now and I turn 24 this year so they're literally 7 years old.

As the invitation says for those of you who bothered to read it, they were unveiling their new fashion film shot by Rezze Bona and creatively and artistically directed by Tokyo James, which features items currently on sale. And what's more, some of them are actually on Sale. It's a good sale as far as sales go... 50% off on some items is pretty darn good isn't it?

Even though the film is called Cool Kids, I didn't think that the cool title extended to me until fashionablelagos.com said that I was part of a select group of Lagos cool kids invited. They stuck a picture of me in there too!

Not bad eh? There I'm wearing my 7 year old Diesel jeans, Toms, an All Saints collarless shirt, and T.M Lewin suspenders. The best thing about the jeans apart from their awesome fit, is the fact that they've got suspender buttons. I also regret to inform the lot of you that I'm succumbed to the man cleavage pressure. It's especially bad of me because I have no muscular man boobs.

Here we've got Ayodeji Rotinwa who writes for Thisday Style. I like his ensemble. I wouldn't wear it I don't think. It's much too bright. I don't really like yellow. I think it's an offensive colour. I mean it's the colour of jaundice and that yellow fever card they make you get when you're a Nigerian travelling to South Africa. He does wear it very well though. The shirt's from Grey, and the trousers are from Orange Culture. They're great trousers anyway you look at them. They are also quite asexual/gender neutral which is great. The shoes are from Zara but you needn't worry about getting them delivered here,  I know a cobbler you could call. I'm joking. They're brown lace ups. They aren't exactly rare.

And this is Denola Adepetun. I'm going to copy this one sometime. It's pretty easy to do. The only other thing I have to say about him is that his jeans though nice, aren't from Diesel.  They're Levi's, I checked. Don't judge me! It's part of my job to look out for these things.

Here we've got Bidemi Zakariyau (left) and Toyin Jolapamo aka the Sohosister.  Bidemi's wearing a Clan ensemble and it's hot. It's hot like tabasco. It's hot like fish suya. I was a little bit of a creep about how hot she looked, but my marbles are lost so it's excusable. Do you think that this picture is a poor representation of how great that Clan dress is? Scroll down a little bit.

I like this picture even though I shouldn't It's really noisy, but I like noise, so there! If you don't like it you can send me a shouty email. Here we've got Baim Akin-Agunbiade who owns/runs the Diesel store in Lagos.

A screen grab from the fashion film.

As far as fashion films go, it is a good one. I can honestly say that I was never bored. There were a lot of bare chests, but I suppose that was okay because one of the models they hired was Wale Bello who's ripped.

That's from Lagos Fashion and Design Week 2013. He's wearing shorts by the Okunoren's. It's ridiculous isn't it. I'd aspire to that, but if I ever got that ripped my clothes wouldn't fit me anymore so I'll refrain until I can afford a new wardrobe as good as my current one without flinching.

Another screen grab...

And another one...

Bidemi again... I know she's hot and all, but I'd really like you to look at the people behind her. That's  Mr and Mrs Stranger Lagos, Yegwa and Bibi. You remember Stranger don't you? If you don't read about it here. http://www.theramblingsofamadman-afam.com/2013/12/stranger-lagos.html

Bidemi, Toyin and I.

And again.

The mirror in the Diesel fitting room is perfect for Selfies. Toyin and I couldn't resist.

Here, I could gush about how pretty she is, and how great her smile is, but I don't need to. Photographs steal words.

And this is how you PHOTOBOMB!! If Papa Afam ever reads the blog, he'll be broken hearted. Some of you will look at this and shake your heads, don't, I'm shaking my head enough for the both of us.

Bolaji Kekere-Ekun. He's a film maker and he's kind of a big deal. He wasn't too pleased that I was Iphone papparrazzing on him, He said, "But I'm not a fashionable person. I'm wearing traditional." And he was wearing traditional. I said, "Do you think I care about your fashionableness? Keep quiet and pose for the pisho!" That's because Afam business is important business.

That's Bolaji again. And he'll proclaim that he isn't that big a deal... #falsemodesty... Sorry about this comment, you see, it's what you've come to expect from Nigerian Celebrities, and Nigerian Celebrity lovers. So you've bought a Mercedes Benz C class. You think you've arrived? Sit the fuck down, and drink some ambition.

Here we've got Zed-Eye who's a stylist and Bubu Ogisi, who's a stylist and a designer. She showed at Lagos Fashion and Design Week last year. This picture makes me want to snap my fingers like a black drag queen. FIERCE! QUICHE! SERVE! I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll blame this on the Americanisation of the world.

It was a great premiere. I had fun. Thanks to LSFPR (Fashion and Lifestyle Public Relation Company for the invite, and thanks to Diesel for having me. You famzers should pop down there one of these days...  It's in Centro mall, on Admiralty way, in Lekki Phase 1.



Happy Days,
Afam

As I write this feature, it is fifteen minutes to five in the morning. I just recently had the opportunity to examine the items that asos has on offer this summer. I apologize in advance for my sombre outlook but I can't be blamed. I have not seen the sun in over a week so I have come to the conclusion that the Manchurian sun has been kidnapped. I have to say that I was surprised at asos. They seem to have outdone themselves this time around. Well in all honesty, this is no huge achievement for they stock so many clothes that one would be surprised if they didn't have what one was looking for. Let's begin.

I began with the shirts.



What is it with the yellows this season. Maybe I'd be in a different mood about them if the sun was out. But as things stand now, I look outside and then I look at my screen. I struggle to understand how Richard Dawson came up with it. It is said that there is a fine line between genius and madness or that one man's madness is another's genius but I find this quite extraordinary. It is either the worst thing I've ever seen or the best thing humanity has created. It reminds me of some Nigerian traditional wear. How is the shirt so shiny? I would buy it just so I could stare at it. I have come to the conclusion that it was meant to be framed. Richard Dawson must be commended for he has undoubtedly outdandied the dandiest of us. Even Porthos (from the three musketeers) would be taken aback by the extrovertedness of this creation. It is not surorising that the shirt has been reduced from £160 to £76. If you think of it as a shirt then it's definitely overpriced, but if you think of it as a piece of tapestry then we're in business.

We are lucky that asos remembered that we are not all so bold as to attempt the above.

I know what you're thinking. This is just another denim shirt right? But yes you are quite right. It's not that special until you consider that the shirt is now £22.50. It's been reduced from £45. That my friends is a bargain.

This shirt was constructed in cotton Chambray. It looks refined. I did not know that asos made such nice items of clothing. Highly commendable effort. £18.

American Apparel deep V neck t shirt. Well, it is widely known that American Apparel make good clothes. For £15 you could do so much worse.

Don't judge me, but I quite like this. It's really practical! It has a water proof pocket in front, it's light weight, it folds well, it's orange and it's made by K-Way. I imagine that it's fluorescent as well. £60.

I love the colour, and I love the collar. At £32 they're definitely overpriced. Please refer to H &M for a better deal.

When I look at these navy blue dungarees by diesel. I can't help but smile. I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a fashionable pair of dungarees, but that's no excuse not to have them. They are £240 and may or may not be worth it. But really, who cares?

It's a nice jumper. Grey goes well with beige and with the way the summer's looking it's not a bad item to have in your closet. It's £18. Enough said.

Nothing beats a good shirt. £28

It's definitely a good way to show your depth in terms of music. It's also a good way to create depth because the world will assume that you're a twenty something year old Pink Floyd fan and that in itself is a great achievement.

This is a denim shirt by Ralph Lauren. It's been reduced from £75 to £52. You may think that it's still a little too expensive but a good shirt is an investment. It'll save you from buying 10 other crummy ones. You can make the lesson into a decent jangle. Twice as strong, twice as long.

Isn't he cool and patriotic? This is the SHIRT of the SUMMER because not only does it support the rolling stones who are infinitely cool, it also has the Union Jack on it's tongue. Between the diamond Jubilee, the Euro cup and the Olympics the Union Jack on a t shirt has never been more on trend. You needed this t shirt last year! But you can get it today for £18.