Eventing: The House of Tara Centro Mall Store launch (featuring Bez, Toke Makinwa, and Chef Fregz)

I'm feeling a wee bit manic at the minute. Yes, manic is the right word. I feel like if I do not get this blog out I shall be vanquished by the weight of my duty to the lot of you to inform you of my adventures as a professional event goer. Yes, my friends, my foes, my famzers, I am an event whore. Show me the champagne and I'm down. That sounds like a good catch phrase doesn't it? SHOW ME THE CHAMPERS!!!! Those of you who do not know me very well, are undoubtedly confused. You're thinking, "but how could this young man be declaring himself an event whore?!!!! Is he alright?" I'll answer that one for free. No. I'm not alright. I am Afam. I will never be alright. I am superior. When I decided to become quite serious about blogging, I forsook whatever qualms I had about getting my name out there. As the Nigerian public seems to be enamoured with these parties that they almost never know about, I Afam, the charitable, the handsome, have deemed it wise to tell you beautiful people, what tha what happened at the events I manage to sneak myself into.

So Famzers are you ready to follow me to the wonderful wonderful world of Tara? It doesn't matter because whether you like it or not that's where you're going. Now you're thinking, who the who is Tara? I mean who is Tara! You see, I didn't know myself as I stalked the corridors of that new Shopping mall, Centro, taking pictures of the attendees of the event. It wasn't until I was about to leave that I stumbled upon her in the flesh and demanded that she place a big fat smooch on my cheek because she's pretty and I like to be kissed by pretty people. The funny thing is, I didn't know who she was when I asked her to bless me with her lips. Now she shall never forget me, and I in turn shall never forget her. Sorry Tara, I've blown our cover. When your husband reads this, he shall come for me with a machete, and I shall allow myself to be smitten because I'm a polite honourable fellow.

And that's me, at the event, with lipstick on my cheek. 

On a more serious note, Tara Fela-Durotoye is the CEO of House of Tara International, a beauty and skin care consulting firm, with their own range of products that aims to become (and probably already is) a household name amongst Nigerian women and thereafter the women of West Africa. Tara's won a fantastic number of awards including Entrepreneur of the year at the Future awards, and the 1st Lady award for Women empowerment. She's pretty interesting no? If you'd like to read more about her, then please, make your way to wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tara_Fela-Durotoye) and the House of Tara Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/houseoftarainternational/info).

Some of you are wondering why I devoted three paragraphs to explaining things, instead of just going straight to the pictures. It's because I'm a broke writer with trust issues. This means two things:

• I cannot afford the photographers I trust to take pictures the way I want them to be taken, so I take them myself. 
• The words are the bigger and more important part of my market. I am a writer. If there were no words in this blog post I would be a self saboteur. This is me strutting my stuff. Just because it's chatty and Sawa sawa sawa le, don't think I can't use words like facetious, and polynomial, and crinkum-crankum because I can. However, I was taught that good writers aren't meant to lord their skill at using thesauruses over the rest of humanity. If the sentence doesn't require it, I shan't bother. 

It's also because if you can't stomach three paragraphs then I do not want you here. GO AWAY! I'm not a free for all. I am exclusive like DJ Exclusive. Har Har Har Har Har. Why aren't you laughing? Laugh! I command you! 

I'm sorry about that last paragraph, but writing it made me laugh. :-)

Now that all of that's done, let us breach the palisade of preamble and saunter on into the matter at hand; the what the what went down when the House of Tara opened their new make up studio in Centro mall Lekki. 

Yes. That's the one. I took those pictures yesterday. You see, on the day of the event (Sunday... 2 days ago) I forgot myself, and I didn't pictures of the store. Some of you probably don't see the harm in this, but think about it. I went to a store opening and didn't take any pictures of the store that was opening. Bad Afam!! 

Now you get to see how good I am at general knowledge that I don't really need. If you were in doubt, I'll clarify. I do not own any make up. I'm not opposed to its use if it's necessary, but as my facial craw craws seem to be receding, I'm perfectly confident rocking my face au naturale. I do however need some contouring for my stomach. The abs are leaving me, and I'm too lazy to work out properly. 

This is foundation no? 

And this is lipstick. I'm not half bad at this photography thing you know? 

A general view of the store.

This was on the day of the event. The model's getting her eyebrows shaped by a make up artist. I need not tell you that the model is Nigerian. That would be stating the obvious. Look at how she's looking at the make up artist handling the razor blade. She's one step away from bitch slapping her if things should go afoul. Luckily or unluckily, there was no Real Housewives of Atlanta realness at the event. The make up artists in Tara's employ are really rather good. 

And now for the who the who, went there. 

I'll begin with a bang.

This, my friends, is Imoteda. Her smile is stunning. She wasn't really keen on the idea of me hanging about to take her picture, so I told absolutely filthy jokes until she cracked up. You've got to love people with a sense of humour. They're just so... so... so... incredible. Anyway, the word on the wind is she's going to be the host of a television show quite soon. I'm not sure which one it is, but I hope fervently that it's a cooking one. Contagious smiles like this and food go together. Her smile reminds me of how I smiled the last time I ate Ogbono soup with rice and dodo (fried plantain).  

This Sistuh was trying to ignore and avoid me. She was unsuccessful. I GATS THE PISHO!!! I quite like what she's wearing here. It's simple. I especially like the skirt of the dress. There's just something about pleats that makes me smile. There's really nothing more coquettish than a pleated skirt.

Check out braided sistuh on the left! How pretty is she? It's a pretty girl in a pretty flowy dress that could do with a little bit of an iron. Those shoes look incredibly uncomfortable though.  

This Imoteda, literally made my day. I asked her to pose for me and this is what she did. Can you imagine? It is quite bold. This one obviously doesn't really give a damn about what you think of her. She's going to have her fun, whether you like it or not. I like what she's wearing. The pink dress is pretty. The tights make it more dressy, and the heels are stripper-esque. What's not to love?

Yasss! The lady in the blue is doing it for me. If she were maybe 7 years or so younger, I'd hit on that. She looks like wifey material, if she isn't already someone's wife. This is how I'll get myself into trouble. I suffer from an intense case of foot in  mouth syndrome. Some people think that all of my muchness is reserved for when I'm banging away on Mama Afam's MacBook Pro keyboard. It isn't. I'm a tyrant. I have no social skills. 

This my friends is Ebisan. I wasn't looking at the floor when I asked her to pose, but I should have. I made her stand in the most wretched spot!! She's pretty little songstress this one. I'll give her a google, when I'm done with this. I love her sandals, but I'm not a fan of the rest of it. The skirt looks heavy, and the peplum top is rather unflattering. It cuts off her lovely figure in the most wretched place. 

For some reason I findd Lamide Akintobi so precious. She's such a darling isn't she? She's tiny and she's wearing an easy wrap dress. The only thing I could possibly suggest, would be that she dispose of the camisole underneath it next time. More and more cleavage in this case, makes everyone feel good. She just looks so clean!! I was refreshed by her. 

This one gets it! Ah! The dress! Gbosa. It's like a floral tie die fusion. It's gorgeous. I love how the flowers are placed. Yes! She is a winner. She's not the winner, but she's certainly a strong contender. Women! Follow her! I beg of you! Some of you don't have a clue. Beg her picture. I said BEG HER PICTURE to allow HER AWESOME DRESS PICKING skill to jump out of the picture and help you. I love the shoes too. 

Here we've got  Linda Ejiofor, and Adeyemi who's my buddy. We got smashed at a Reloaded magazine party... ps Mama Afam is giving the cook, Caderrouse a hard time as I write this. It seems he soaked some of our table linens for three days! :-0.
Yes, where was I? I am of the firm belief that you are best able to discern the true nature of a man's character when you're both well on your way to getting absolutely roaring drunk. Having said that! Papa afar, it was this man's fault that I turned up to that compulsory family dinner a little bit worse for wear. Adeyemi's pretty chilled here. He looks decent. He didn't try, so I shan't try either. NEXT.
Linda didn't try very hard either but she didn't need to.

I like her make up I think. I mean, I like her face, but in this day and age, can you compliment a face without complimenting the hand that applied the make up,] and the quality of the products used? I don't think so. Also, is that an iPad case or a bag because I super can't tell. I do like her white heels though. I like it. I'm not in love with it. It'll do.  

The one on the left is a blogger and the one on the right is a beauty person. Can't you tell? The one on the left is  Reme Ezeka, and the one on the right put her name down as jagabeauty... Can you tell that the fact that she put her name down as java beauty makes me a little miffed? Anyway, they were both perfectly alright in person. Jaga Beauty is more successful clothed than her friend. It's simple and somewhat chic. It could have done without the chain, or with a different chain. It could also have done with the undoing of an extra button. Skin is sexy. I'm not really a fan of Rema's green blazer. It reminds me of a gangrenous body part. I want to amputate it. I do have to say that it's probably only achieving that effect because of what it's paired with. She's got her own style, and that's brilliant. I like the dress and the shoes and the hair, but guru needs a different camera bag. Actually, maybe I'm just being a hater. The green blazer can stay. 

... She's a delight this one. I don't need to tell you that she wasn't faking that smile. She's stunning! Oh My God! I can't contain myself. This is priceless. It isn't a Facebook smile, it's a completely natural smile. I like it when people smile at me like this, it shows confidence. She's the winner of the day. It's obvious that she's stolen my heart. I do quite like what she's wearing but in all honesty she could have been wearing a sack and I would still be raving about it. When you appear to be having that much fun, there isn't anything you can't pull off.

Here we've got Toke Makinwa and Oyinda. Toke looks nice enough. She looks way better than she did the last time my lens captured her. The ensemble suits her figure nicely. I think the bag's a versace one. Oyinda looks nice too. It's missing something though. 

The lady in black didn't want me to take her photograph but as you can see I ignored her. Let me spell it out for you. If. you. come. to. an. event. that. you. know. will. be. covered. by. the. press. and. declare. that. they. must. not. take. your. photograph. you. are. crazy. This is obviously a case of the lady doth protest to much. I took her no as a yes, and snapped away anyway. She looks like she's got bad posture, and her weave is too long and these things do not compliment the nicest dress. 

The way this is styled makes me mad. This dress did not need that belt. This dress did not need those shoes. This dress is not particularly an eventing dress. This dress is more of a holiday dress. It is just so wrong. I mean who is her stylist? There is such a thing as overkill you know. This is why it is important to edit. EDIT!! EDIT! EDIT. I don't know why but it's annoying me. 

This is a Wana Sambo dress that's similar to the one Elma Godwin's wearing in the picture above. This is how it should be styled. This is how dresses of the sort should be worn. Simplicity is always and everywhere preferable to excess. Less is always more!

Guys girls, and everything else in between, behold the reigning most beautiful girl in Nigeria, Anna Ebiere Banner. Someborry please clap for her and her stylist. I want to sing Wizkid's entire discography to her. She's my sister Caro and she's just pulled over!!! Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay E give it to me fine gurr! I don't know who sang that one. If you know please tell me. Okay I'll behave myself now. On a side note, is it me or are her feet markedly darker than the rest of her. It could be the lighting though… Or it could be that she walks about with her feet exposed, and the rest of her body enshrouded. 

This hunny gets it too. I can't remember her name, but she's a hottie. And even better than that, she's a well dressed hottie. It's the perfectly appropriate thing to wear for early Sunday evening. Her hair and make up's good too. 

And here we've got Chef Fregz. I shan't say anything nasty about him because he's a chef, and he does catering for a lot of the events I whore myself at to. If I said something unflattering, his food and I may grow suspiciously incompatible. Luckily, there's nothing too wrong with this. I know the belt and the shoes don't match but it's still alright somehow. It says Sunday afternoon, not I'm coming from the office, which is what you want. 

I just had to ya kno? These things make me cry. I mean this woman's wearing what it'll cost to fix my new laptop and the price of one camera lens I've been eyeing on her arm. It's vexing. It's supremely vexing. 

And then the same lady had the audacity to wear those red bottoms. I am offended. Here I am, in my corner, broke and illiquid and there she is wearing her wealth on a sling. Pah. It means nothing. I'm just being dramatic. 

I love this Re Bahia dress. Elma! This is how tunics should be worn! Can you imagine what this would look like if it were belted? I would have vomited. Luckily Onyinye knows a thing or two about clothes so she didn't make that error. Love. I'm sorry that these things are getting shorter but I'm tired. Anyway it's simple and it's great, and she's great, so everyone's happy. Yay me.

And this is Orire Omatsola, my Godsister, wearing a Re Bahia dress. You must remember that when pronouncing Re Bahia, the h is silent. So it's really not pronounced Re BaHia. It's pronounced RE BAYIA. The I is very very soft. I'm just trying to help you. Anyway we're God siblings because we've got the same God mum. I don't know why I mentioned that. Is that too much information? I like it lots and lots. You need that dress in your closet. It's age appropriate and flattering. It also moves incredibly well!!

This is sistuh Kiki. She's fierce like fire and hot like Dbanj's Amala. I do not doubt that she's wearing one of her own designs (Kiki Kamanu), and it's brilliant. I like that she doesn't dress like everyone else. It's a new modern take on the iro and buba, and it does wonders for her figure. It will probably do wonders for yours as well. Show me a woman who doesn't have curves when wearing iro and buba and I will show you an asylum. ps. All women have curves in iro and buba

Hell famzers. Meet Ezinne Alfa. I want to put her in a cup cake. I don't know why this is, but she's got a vibe that needs to be in a cupcake and eaten. That's it. I'm going to become a baker. I'll call it the Alfa cupcake. It'll be purple on the bottom with cream cheese icing on top. It'll be great. If you steal my business idea, I KILL YOU. The shorts are from Virgos lounge, and there she's smiling for me, me and me alone. She's not smiling at you. No it's all about me. Me. Me. Me. I think she's flirting with me. Ezinne, doyouwannagotoWhisperingPalmswithme? If you know her, and she sees this. I KILL YOU. You're meant to help me sell my market. I'm not helping myself here, so I expect the lot of you to help me. Oh yeah! The shorts are from/by viragos lounge.

Now this bunny is lost. Can't you tell? She's like, "Where da club at?" It's a typical nollywood dress. It's the sort of dress they'll have you believe the bad girls wear to their lectures. In my opinion dresses like this should only be worn between 11pm and 5am. They're not to be seen in day light. 

I'm just going to call it. Dark skinned sistuh how is it that you have not succumbed to the peer pressure. Everyone on that table is kind of artificially yellow, so I called it the bleaching table. I don't mind bleaching really. Whatever makes you happy no? Team light skinned by force. 

This pretty Shalewa is wearing a dress that she and her tailor knocked together. Nigerian designers feel ACHAMED. Some of you can get it less than this bespoke haute tailor couture. Yes, I judge you harshly, but is it too much for me to expect you to be a little bit good at your job? 

Yeah. That's your home boi and Bez. At the time, I was thinking, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!" But I contained myself and smiled my mischievous but incredibly endearing sexy smile. 

Bez performed at the event, and there are three pictures of me and him in a row, because it's my blog, and I'm more important than the rest of them. Take AM!!!!!

Happy Days,
Afam

If you like the way I do things drop me an email. If you'd like to give your client some great PR, look for my drop me an email. And if you sponsor an event, and you'd like some coverage that sees things your way, again, drop me an email. afam.a.o@hotmail.com

Also, all pictures, though not watermarked are mine. They may not be copied, or reposted without my permission, and that usually incurs a fee.