I cannot blame you if you haven’t heard of Denola Grey. Our experiences are so insular and singular that I cannot expect you to know what I know of by virtue of the fact that I know it. Since it is possible that the name Denola Grey means nothing to you, I shall tell you who he is, or who I think he is, knowing full well that the two might not be the same.
Some say that he surgically replaced his cheekbones with razor blades and some say that he came out of his mother’s vagina in a blazing pink suit and a Paisley self tie bow-tie. Either way the result is the same. He’s essentially the male equivalent of Toke Makinwa. There isn’t a moment when either one of them isn’t selfie ready. The only difference between them is that one of them spent 4 years as a main chick and the remaining 8 as a some other kind of chick that isn’t the main one. Let’s say side at worst, and shared at best, because if your man has been creeping for more than a year you can’t call yourself the main chick. You can only call it polygamy.
Whatever you think of him and his media personality ways, the man-child is a friend of mine. That means that I’m quite concerned with how he’s getting on in this cold miserable filthy sad hard stressful shithole that we call Lagos. I’m obviously in love with the city. I’m not being sarcastic here. Lagos is great if you’re a sadomasochist with fantasies about death by asphyxiation with diesel fumes. I’m really pleased that he’s doing well. I would like to see him do better, but it’s alright for now. We all have to start from somewhere.
Denola has a blog that I quite like. I check it out when I’m interested in knowing what he’s been up to but not so interested that I pick up the phone and make a phone call. His blog turned one some time this year. At the time he had a competition where he asked his fans to recreate some of his looks. The best ones were awarded with prizes. I wanted to participate but I was on what I thought was my death-bed. I’m a terrible sick person. What the doctor said was Malaria turned into pneumonia, bronchitis, cancer, typhoid, hepatitis and Cirrhosis. The next time I’m ill, I shall lock myself up in a room without my laptop or phone, because Web Md and Wikipedia will kill me before anything else does. And even if I wasn’t ill, I probably wouldn’t have been able to, because I’m a snob and I find that such unsarcastic displays of fandom do not fit in with how I see myself. It was a challenging situation but I conversed my way out of it. The conversation went a little like this. This conversation was obviously one that I had with myself. If I didn’t talk to myself, this blog wouldn’t be the ramblings of a madman would it?
Enter Afam and Fambam
Afam: It’d be great if we did something for the first anniversary of denolagrey.com
Fambam: Yes, it probably would. But if you think that we’re going to compete with the hoarde you’re even madder than I am?
Afam: Why do you say that? We could win!
Fambam: But we could lose. If we lose you’ll be depressed. And even if you win, you’ll obsess about whether or not you were the winningest winner of the lot and you’ll still be depressed.
Afam: Oh dear. Oh dear.
Fambam: I know. We’re between the devil and the devil. We can’t win.
Afam: Don’t say that. We shit butterflies and piss rainbows. Life is full of teletubbies and Dora the Explorer’s if you only know how to find them.
Fambam: Even if we could take the damn picture we’d probably die while doing it. We can’t even leave the death bed to do anything but pee radioactive sickness pee or vomit.
Afam: How about we wait to see if we survive this protozoanic assault and then take the picture. We’ll be showing support, but no one will think that we only decided to show support because there was a prize to be won.
Fambam: Splendid.
ps: I’m getting carried away. That means that it’s time to stop this.
The long and short of this entire thing is that I’m very pleased that Maestro Denny’s blog has been alive for a year; not many make it that long. And I got this high octane picture tooken to celebrate it.
Now go like the good procrastinators you are and give it a look see. denolagrey.com
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