The beginnings are always the trickiest. You'd never guess how difficult it is to begin a ramble. I know it sounds like it should be the easiest thing in the world but it is monumentally difficult.

Well you know me. I love my words. A difficulty isn't a difficulty if it isn't insurmountable, monumental and of indelible importance. I don't know that the last phrase makes sense but those two words came together in my head and I quite like the way they sound. It makes me want to say it over and over again.

Imagine me at dinner with Ms Leggy (This isn't so far fetched. I asked her out a couple of weeks ago and she said yes. Dinner turned into a chat in her room during which I found out that she was taken.)

Enter Afam and Miss Leggy

Afam: My dear, your legs are of indelible importance to me.

Ms Leggy: Oh please don't stop.

On second thought indelible importance isn't that good a word combination. Don't be cross with me. I'm a little rusty.

Unto the crux of the matter! The pivotal focal point upon which the fate of the world rests. What would you do for Charity? What lengths would you go to ensure that those who are worse off than you get the help that they are in of. This is a question that plagues me daily. You see, I Afam have the warmest, most sentimental heart. Every time I see a homeless man I want to empty the contents of my meagre savings account  and hand it to him. I want to ask him about his bastards and grand bastards. Most times I refrain from this and give him £1 even though I know that it's probably going to be spent on alcohol. It's just that if I didn't my conscience would torture me terribly.

Of Course you all know this about me because I devoted an entire blog post to praising the efforts of Topman and the Teenage Cancer trust for these t-shirts below.




 Well I bought mine. Yes, that vulgar looking schizophrenic thing below. It was £18 and I was promised that £5 of that would go to the Teenage Cancer Trust. It left a bitter taste in my mouth when I discovered that the shirts had gone on sale for £4. What's up with that? Doesn't it leave a bitter taste in your mouth. I felt foolish. Had they not attached the Teenage Cancer Trust to the t-shirt it would have remained un-bought. Now I'm left with a tragically unfashionable shirt that means nothing. 

A month and a bit ago I stumbled upon a tantalizing bit of news. One Brazilian student, Catarina Migliorni agreed to have sex with a Japanes man called Natsu in exchange for a $780,000 donation to charities in her impoverished home town. Some people may call it prostitution and she sees it as a business deal and a great way to ruck up some traveling points, but isn't she helping the greater good?

A few weeks ago I posed semi nude for my University's society calendar. All profits from the calendar will be given to read international. Read International is an awesome charity that supplies good quality but out of date text books to schools in East Africa that follow a similar syllabus to the United Kingdom's. Read International helps make sure that these books do not end up in land fills or stockrooms. Read International guarantees that these textbooks make it to class rooms where they are very much needed. The nudity was the least of my concerns. When I'm at home in Lagos, Nigeria I spend an unreasonable amount of my time in my swimming shorts so taking pictures in my boxers was hardly an achievement.

HELLO MR MARCH!

That's my bit of the picture. There are seven others in it. If you would like to see more then book a copy through me. I'm sure that Mama and Papa Afam will purchase several copies of the Calendar.

I guess the point of this is that we have so little time and so much to do. It would be nice if we took a break every now and then and did something for someone else.

THE END

Happy Days
Afam

I was a little out of breath from my exertions on Saturday morning when I strolled into the Topman store. This was the Topman just across the road from Saint Paul's Cathedral. For this visit I had donned the aura of a minor Middle Eastern Baron. Chest out, tummy in, and arms swinging in both a pompous and twattish manner. I was trying to give the impression that I had cash oozing from me. But as you all know the emptiest barrel makes the most noise. I'm sure the Topman staff figured this out as well when I directed myself to the sales rack.

I tried one or two things on and prepared to leave. As I was leaving some sign caught my eye. It was a sign that I could not ignore.
I was intrigued. I hadn't known that Topman was so charitable, especially about a cause that I'm particularly sensitive about. I called one of the floor staff and asked him where the t-shirts were. He showed me. They're only four of them, and their designs are rather unique.

Each t-shirt is £18 and £5 of this goes to the teenage cancer trust.




I can't  comment on each individual t-shirt. If I could, I wouldn't care to. It isn't a matter of taste or style, it's surrendering your body to a higher cause. By buying and wearing one of these t-shirts you're saying "I'm well aware that there are others in need of my help (my love, my thoughts, my prayers, or my support), I may not know who they are or where they are and even if I did I would probably not be able to get to them. So not only will I contribute £5 to their cause, I will also wear this banner. I will be a walking poster of the Topman for teenage cancer trust because that's the least I can do as a decent human being."

This is mine. I will wear it to classes, to meet friends and on nights out. Thanks to the topman staff who let me have the poster card. It's going on my wall when I move into my studio.

Like my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/theramblingsofamadmanafam?ref=hl

or

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Happy Days,
Afam.

Following my posts about Topman and H&M it may come as a surprise to you that I have not become a fashion commentator. I love clothes, so it is only natural that I blog about them no? My reasons for resisting the allure are as follows:

• I love my Bank Account: Why put yourself through hours and hours of temptation. Chances are after three hours of checking out asos you'll find yourself buying a couple of items that you could do without. It is not financially viable.
• It is impractical: Several of my peers wax lyrical about designers far beyond their allowances. They feel obliged to declare to the world that they don't like the Rodarte spring collection. They fail to consider that the clothes aren't targeted at them. So their opinion about the clothes is moot. If I ever blog about a $20,000 dollar suit, be rest assured that I am prepared to sell my kidneys for the suit (I would be the best dressed corpse in the history of the middle class).  It is important to note that if I were paid to wax lyrical about clothes far above my station then I shall get on with the task without much ado at all. For there are much worse ways to make a living.
• I live out of my suitcase: As a get up and go individual everything I own that is of value can be placed into 2 suitcases and 4 boxes. So any item of clothing purchased puts another in the bin.

Happy Days
Afam.

As promised I made my way to Topman for some well deserved retail therapy. Once there I spotted the deep V-neck t shirt I saw online and promised to buy but after trying two on I wasn't entirely sure if I should. I think I have run out of places to wear such items of clothing. If anything I think the dark one is chilled. Definitely feeling a holiday vibe from it.

I'm on a roll here. Yay me!!

I am very particular about my trousers and shorts. I like them to be well cut and tailored. I like them to be pleated. I need them to be comfortable. I typically like my trousers to be slim fitted, bordering on skinny and this is something topman do very well. Sometimes their trousers are a little too skinny to be honest. There was a time I attempted to try on a 28 inch waist pair of ultra skinny trousers from topman. I was astounded when they didn't make it past my hips. I was so confused by this that I went home and measured my waist. My waist was 27 inches at the time. This is a plea to topman, stop making us feel fat, PLEASE!

I like some of my trousers baggy. I have a pair of Ralph Lauren chinos that I have owned for 6 years. While wearing them it is possible to split.

I like my shorts, short. The shorter the better. When I was younger my mother told me that my legs were sexy. She was trying to get me to put some trousers on. However this had the opposite effect. Topman also does this remarkably well.

Here are some of the shorts they have on sale that I like.

These are perfection. Brilliantly cut. A conservative grey, my father would not have cause to complain. At £40 they're a little pricey, but if topman made more clothes like this sales would be up. I'm adamant about this! It doesn't matter that they may not go well with the clothes I currently own.

Really cool navy blue shorts with Aztec details. I really like them. Would I buy them? No, but they're nice to look at.

These ones are nice and tailored. They look expensive (well more expensive than they are £32)

These are stone pleat tailored shorts and they are also £32. I really like how tailored they look. I would buy these. Everything about them is great.

He's really showing us some leg isn't he? Even though the pockets look quite bizarre I quite like these infinitesimal shorts. Like the Renault Twizy they're bound to get some tongues wagging. This is precisely the sort of fashion risk I like to take but alas the smallest waist size still in stock is a 32. These shorts are £35, they've been reduced from £70. At £70 I'd have had to request parental assistance to purchase them.

Happy Days,
Afam

@don_quixote21 Thanks for the wonderful feature!

— TopmanUS (@topmanus) June 10, 2012

It should come as no surprise to you that I am a fop, a dandy, a man about town, a poseur, a snappy dresser, a trendoid, a hipster, a coxcomb and a popinjay. So during a bout of insomnia I found myself trawling through topman.com (the go to zone for all metro-sexual young adults) doing what I call online window shopping. I think it should be online screen shopping but we'll let that rest for now.

I'm going to put up everything that I thought was remotely interesting.

I quite like this one. The colour's nice. I think that the pocket is interesting but it's undoubtedly a trend so it may not be the most fashionable item of clothing in your wardrobe come summer 2013. It's currently £18 pounds in Topman. I think it may be overpriced.

The colour's nice but the t shirt does not grow on you. I dislike it more and more as time passes.

Every wardrobe needs a few of these dependable chaps. At £13 there's no excuse.

I don't know why I dislike it. The t shirt is confused. If I saw someone in it I'd look twice so that's a bonus right?

I quite like this one. I really like that it's knitted. It's currently on SALE!!!

The size of that V is legendary. I'll aspire to wear that t shirt someday. It's a body specific piece of clothing, handle with care. I'm going to buy one. I think it'll inspire me to get my fat arse to the gym. £7.

I HATE this. Everything about this grey sweatshirt screams trying too hard. I don't know that anyone could feel comfortable chilling in this.

Surprisingly I like this one. Can I explain why? No, but it's fashion not econometrics.

Totes amazeballs colour

This one manages to be just as forgettable as it is detestable. I like the collar though.

This is a nice tshirt. It's blue and it has a picture of a Naval officer on it. What's not to like?

This one is a rather bold effort. In my opinion it's perfect for summer. It says yes I'm confident and stylish enough to wear so much colour but I'm totally approachable and cool at the same time. Some people might think hippy but I think hip. This t shirt is worth the £20.

The above are all the comment worthy shirts I saw. I'll put up some shorts in a lethal bizzle.

Just sit back and let me dandify you.

Laters.