A new opportunity has arisen for you louts to do some good in the world. As most of you are incredibly practical you are shockingly incapable of doing anything good without getting something tangible in return. I, Afam have gone out of my way yet again to present you with another chance to be charitable. Did you know that Malaria kills a child every 45 seconds?

Jack Wills, has been a significant partner of the charity Malaria No More UK, since 2011. They raise money through the sale of two rather stylish bracelets made in South Africa by the not for profit social enterprise Relate, a United Against Malaria partner. All profits from the sale of the bracelets go to the charity Malaria No More UK. As someone who suffers from Malaria repeatedly, I can confirm that it is a cause worthy of your coin.

(I seem to have a natural affinity for the illness. At some point in my adolescent years I would get it at least once a year, every year, without fail at the end of rainy season. It was like clockwork. When diagnosed and treated early, it isn't very serious at all. Left untreated, it very quickly morphs into a hydra like beast that is quite capable of claiming a life. It isn't a thing to be trifled with.)

It can be yours now for £5 by clicking on this sentence. Click. What harm can it do?

It can be yours for £5 now by clicking on this differently coloured line. Don't be a wimp. Click.

Happy Days,

@zephiaovia @afam20 thanks so much for your support!
— Malaria No More UK (@malarianomoreuk) March 29, 2013

Photo: The Telegraph

Have you lot heard of this? I apologise because as a blogger being the last to hear about a possible trend is unacceptable. As a blogger you're meant to be up to date and well versed in the intricate details of every story as soon as it breaks. You're meant to stand ready at the gates delivering your commentary before the public knows what it is you are commenting about.

If you haven't yet heard of this you are terrible and you should thank me, Afam for bringing you up to speed.

Meggings, as you might have guessed are leggings for men. While I confess to being rather dandy, foppish and progressive I'm skeptical about this "movement" that's apparently taking the fashion world by storm. There are many reasons why you should think long and hard before you attempt it. I'll give you a few.

I'll start with the obvious. The defining feature of any man is that dangly thing in-between his legs and the two ball-like things in his sack. Yes, I mean his penis and his balls. I'm afraid that in a pair of leggings these things will be borderline offensive. Can you imagine going to pick up your child from daycare clad in such? With your boys on display like that you're practically a sex offender. You'll inspire all sorts of questions like, "mummy, what is that bulging thing between that man's legs, how come my ken doll doesn't have it?"

If you have a largish stomach and by largish I mean a stomach that is not flat then you'll probably end up looking like a pumpkin on toothpicks. This is and can never be a good thing.

Legs are something that many neglect in the gym. We focus on our arms, pecs and abs and forget that beneath them lie a pair of scrawny chicken-like appendages that should always be well covered. Those things you call legs should never be highlighted so. If you are the opposite of this and have legs that could stand to lose a few pounds then don't. Cellulite is real. No one wants to see yours.

Meggings are ridiculously difficult to pull off as you not only have to have the body of a demigod to wear them and look normal, you also have to have the temperament and personality of a rock legend. So before you jump unto this one give it a good think.

Happy Days,
Afam

Just the other day I was hanging out on facebook. Yes, this is a thing. I have come to the conclusion that facebook is like a massive market, no, Village Square that people go to for their daily doses of inter-personal contact (does that apply here? who cares?).

Yes where was I? It is so difficult to stay on topic. I was hanging out on facebook when I got an invitation to like a Bengo belts facebook page. This facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/BengoBelts?ref=ts&fref=ts you should probably click on it. As far as pages go it's fairly decent.

The page was rather interesting so I decided to have a gander on their website. (Just a note, they might want to stick the web address higher up the page. Not everyone is as inquisitive as I and even I hate scrolling down looking for information that should be screaming at me. It annoys me.)
 

That is a Bengo belt. bengobelts.com

Bengo Belts was founded by Ben Hayward at the end of 2011. The idea attacked him quite violently while he was trudging through the mountains of Western Guatemala. As he stopped to gaze at the beautiful valley below he thought, "There is a niche in the market for bright belts!!"

Bengo belts are meticulously hand woven by Mayan women in the same place where dear Ben was violently attacked by the idea, the Mountains of Western Guatemala.

www.joblackcraze.co.uk

I was a little out of breath from my exertions on Saturday morning when I strolled into the Topman store. This was the Topman just across the road from Saint Paul's Cathedral. For this visit I had donned the aura of a minor Middle Eastern Baron. Chest out, tummy in, and arms swinging in both a pompous and twattish manner. I was trying to give the impression that I had cash oozing from me. But as you all know the emptiest barrel makes the most noise. I'm sure the Topman staff figured this out as well when I directed myself to the sales rack.

I tried one or two things on and prepared to leave. As I was leaving some sign caught my eye. It was a sign that I could not ignore.
I was intrigued. I hadn't known that Topman was so charitable, especially about a cause that I'm particularly sensitive about. I called one of the floor staff and asked him where the t-shirts were. He showed me. They're only four of them, and their designs are rather unique.

Each t-shirt is £18 and £5 of this goes to the teenage cancer trust.




I can't  comment on each individual t-shirt. If I could, I wouldn't care to. It isn't a matter of taste or style, it's surrendering your body to a higher cause. By buying and wearing one of these t-shirts you're saying "I'm well aware that there are others in need of my help (my love, my thoughts, my prayers, or my support), I may not know who they are or where they are and even if I did I would probably not be able to get to them. So not only will I contribute £5 to their cause, I will also wear this banner. I will be a walking poster of the Topman for teenage cancer trust because that's the least I can do as a decent human being."

This is mine. I will wear it to classes, to meet friends and on nights out. Thanks to the topman staff who let me have the poster card. It's going on my wall when I move into my studio.

Like my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/theramblingsofamadmanafam?ref=hl

or

Follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/Afam20

Happy Days,
Afam.

As you might have heard, in a sudden stroke of good fortune I, Afam have ungraduated from the university of Manchester. I shall be returning to Manchester for a fourth year to complete my third year. It's remarkably exciting isn't it? As I picture myself in lectures and the library and clubbing I begin to map out what it is I'd like to be wearing in the coming year.

Following my recent ungraduation, I have decided that it is time I don the cloak of maturity and ditch the more eccentric and undoubtedly foolish items of my wardrobe. It is no longer appropriate to show up to lectures looking like a geriatric hippy. Papa Afam claims that this and this alone is the sole reason for my bachelordom.

Also as i shall be joining the job market in the following year I have decided that the time has come to retire some of my old shoes, and replace them with more modern less tired looking versions of themselves just as 50 year old men tend to do with their 50 year old wives.

So let's get on with the show shall we.

These are Keats Loafers by Church's. Aren't they lovely. When I saw them in the store I could only stare. They were beautiful. I had to have them. I asked for the price and my dark face turned pale, £355. I flinched. In my mind all sorts of calculations were being processed. If you buy them then you'll have to eat one meal a day for about a month. If you buy them and eat normally then you can't buy anything else until February. I turned to Mama Afam to beg for some assistance but the daggers she stared at me forced my mouth shut and dried out my mouth. There was only one solution BICESTER VILLAGE!!!!!! I picked up a similar pair there for £190. Still a little expensive for a student but they are a justifiable expense.

People wonder why I often push myself to my financial limits lusting after the finer things that the world has to offer. There's a logical reason for this. A good pair of shoes that are well maintained can last a lifetime and though worn and battered any being that looks upon them will be sure to comment on their quality. However a bad pair of shoes regardless of how new, clean and shiny they may be will always be a bad pair of shoes. They will also probably have to be replaced every two years. By buying Church's I know that for the next decade or two my feet will be encased in the finest materials that the world has to offer.

While you're breaking in the Church's your feet will need some solace. Anyone who knows anything knows that even with they're extremely short life spans Toms are perhaps the most comfortable shoes available on the high street. They're also incredibly easy to pull off. You need not consider whether or not they go with whatever it is you have chosen to wear. The above pair can be yours for £37.

These are timberland boat shoes. Over the years they've become an essential part of my wardrobe. I started wearing them when I was 16. At 22 I still wear the shoes. When the sole was irreparable I got them resoled. Getting these shoes resoled costs about £85 but why buy another when you can have the ones that you know and love? They're like children. Even though we all know how to make them, when they fall ill we'd rather treat them than get new ones.

These are for the gym, or whatever sporty endeavour you feel that you may undertake in during your time in school. I do not need to tell you how great they are. You've always known that you've needed a pair of decent trainers in your arsenal. You cannot believe that it's taken so long for you to buy them. Don't wast any more time, click here. They're a respectable £50.

These are for everything else. Whenever you're in doubt about the footwear required for any casual affair put these on. They'll get you out of many a tight spot. Mine have endured grime, mud, sweat and blood. They've even endured prolonged periods of abandonment. They are about £36.

If you have all these shoes then you're prepared for any and every eventuality that university life can throw at you. Your feet will be sure to inspire double takes in passers by. I guarantee it with full confidence.

Happy Days,
Afam.

Danielli of Heritage London

I am now a spambot, yes, I share my links incessantly. I facebook them, I tweet them. Today I looked at my facebook timeline and realized that there was nothing on it that was not blog related. When I'm not spamming, I'm writing and thinking about more innovative and compelling ways to spam. It's really quite extraordinary. As a result of this I'm very sensitive to spam. Whenever a link pops up on my livefeed, I click on it because I'm hoping that someone, somewhere is doing the same to mine. There was this link that kept popping up, http://heritagelondon.co.uk/ and because I Afam, am not only legendary but infinitely generous I clicked on it. It is truly extraordinary that I, Afam, a minor celebrity with 195 likes on facebook (LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE) should click on anything but I was particularly pleased that I did, because I saw this...

On seeing this, a lesser human being might have been thwarted fror while it was cool, it revealed nothing. I did the only sensible thing that I could be expected to do in such a difficult situation and scrolled down. No, don't be daft. I'm not going to tell you what I saw, you'll have to find that out for yourself by clicking on the following link http://heritagelondon.co.uk/.


After a lot of reading and clicking, I found that HERITAGE MMXXII (That's the year 2012) is a fashion label run by Melissa Nyasi and Danielli Ofori-Atta. Danielli was the one that spammed me. They'll have the following t-shirts on sale after today, as today is their launch.

All their t-shirts are £25. This one's quite cool. It's inspired by their original totem symbol. I have to say, I imagine that I'll look quite good in this. It's that alternatively cool look I've been trying out. It's just so chilled! It's called the Kenzo.

This one's their original totem symbol. As you can see it's the same as the one before it, except that the logo is tilted 90 degrees to the right and it's smaller. If you buy the one before it, you'll have to buy this one too. I mean, there's no reason not to. Get one in September, and one in October. You'll hardly notice that you spent the money and you'll get 2 pretty darn cool t-shirts too.

This one's the Salome. Apparently this is the one that started the movement. Without it, heritage wouldn't be what it is. It's so delightfully emo. It's definitely a t-shirt for the shallow, because it indicates that you've got some form of depth. It's the first part of a collection with three water colour pieces.

As far as I can tell, this is another version of the one above.

At this juncture I'm quite perplexed. It's like they took a mini stroll in my head and managed to produce a lot of the stuff I was thinking about and feeling. I realize that I'm in danger. I'm quite firmly entrenched in their catchment area. Apologies Papa Afam, I'm a lost cause.

This one's sure to get you noticed. The guy or girl that you think is ridiculously beautiful (We've been through this already, if women can be handsome, then men can be beautiful. I am a beautiful man. Mama Afam tells me so. Did I ever tell you that my nickname was Handsome?) will be sure to comment on it and then BOOOM CHAKA WAWA- you're in! If that conversation doesn't end with you collecting some digits then you shame me.

Yes! Keep talking to me. I can't be helped. I don't even mind that they're white and can only really be worn once before they have to go in the wash and I'm sure that once they get their feet in the ground they'll have several more delightful colours. I'm not myself. I can feel the money draining from my bank account already. Call me customer number 1. This is a great t-shirt too. I don't know what's on it, and that can only ever be a good thing because other people won't know either and then they'll have to ask you about it.

This one's nice, but I must confess that I'm quite relieved, because while I like it and if any one of my friends wore it I'll say great t-shirt buddy, I'm just not compelled to buy it.

This one's called Rahma, they say that it embodies mercy, peace and justice. I say, " I have a beast inside me, and it's dying to come out".

 Needless to say, I'll be getting quite a few of these. The only thing that could put me off at this point is how they fit. The fit of a t-shirt is often more important than the design on the t-shirt itself. But even if the fit sucks I can assure you that i'll get Rahma in XXL. My sister, Bintin adores massive t-shirts. She sleeps in them. Rahma looks like she'll keep the baddies away from her.

The t-shirts already have names so you don't have to think of them yourself. 

I wanted to improve my chances of getting a discount so I lassoed Danielli into my office for an interview. Stay tuned. 

Happy Days,
Afam