I really can’t be blamed for this. I think it’s one of the side effects of my medicine (I fell ill during the year and I have been heavily medicated since). I now get vivid dreams that have no place in my head. I think that they may have been transplanted from Terrence Malik’s head, but no matter. I quite enjoy them, when I’m not being eaten by snuggly-warts (yes I just made that up) or looking at myself sleeping (this happened once).
So what is a refrigerator of love? The idea was still extremely fresh in my mind so I did the only thing I thought appropriate in this situation, I conducted a social survey. It’s been a while hasn’t it?
With great fervour and effort I switched applications on my mac to my browser of choice, Firefox and conducted my interviews. Considering that all I did was hold down command and tab it may seem odd that I call it a great effort but such is the height of my laziness and dislike for actual work.
So I dived into action...
I began my social inquiry by asking Ellie. You’ve met Ellie before in one of these features. She’s proven to be a most consistent ally in all my endeavours.
Enter Ellie
Afam: Everyone has a little refrigerator of love at the little rainbow by the bottom of their heart. What do you think this is?
Ellie: A kidney!
Afam: So you believe that the little refrigerator of love in the bottom of your heart which stands decorated by a beautiful rainbow is a kidney?
Ellie: When you put it like that, I’m not entirely sure.
Afam: I’ll assume that you’ve never had a Biology lesson in your life.
Ellie: What’s the correct answer?
I didn't know at the time, so I left her hanging.
I engaged the poetry writing yam (Azone) in a similar vein of questioning
Afam: Everyone has a refrigerator of love at the little rainbow by the bottom of their heart, what do you think this is?
Sir Yam: GAY!!!
Afam: I beg your pardon.
Sir Yam: Well rainbows are rather gay, so I thought gay would be an appropriate answer.
I was speechless... I think my silence made the poetry writing Yam a little uncomfortable for he attempted to answer again.
Sir Yam: How about weed?
Afam: Don’t feel bad, someone else said kidney.
Sir Yam: That’s fine then. It’s an interesting mind test.
At this point I was ready to bury the very thought of the article when a certain Dell came online.
Afam: Dell, I know it’s been ages but could you help me answer a monumentally important question?
Dell: You only speak to me when you need something.
Afam: Isn’t that the only time when you should speak to someone?
Dell: No, you’re supposed to inquire about their well being.
Afam: You know how I feel about rehearsed and altogether pointless conversation...
Dell: I’m sure you’re about to tell me.
Afam: I simply haven’t got the time.
Dell: Sigh, I would change you if I could. I really would.
Afam: Everyone has a refrigerator of love at the little rainbow by the bottom of their heart, what do you think this is?
Dell: I’m sorry. You’re going to have to rephrase. What on earth are you on about? Lol :s
Afam: No clue.
Dell: What do you mean by refrigerator of love? Do you mean a person?
I think about this. It makes perfect sense to me that if there is a refrigerator of love, then it should contain people.
Afam: Well you put people into the refrigerator of love.
Dell: Oh! So you’re asking who I’m in love with?
Afam: Not at all.
Dell: Oh. Well I suppose you put the person you’re in love with into the refrigerator of love.
Afam: That makes sense.
The idea finally made sense. I realized why it had had the audacity to impose itself on my dreams last night. My friend Thatcher is a truly remarkable fellow, but he has one fatal flaw. He has a hard time letting things go, so he piles one issue after another into his already issue filled life. So if we assume that an individual that one falls in love with is a three course meal fully formed, and that at the moment that you fall in love with them they make a home for themselves in your refrigerator of love. One should inherently know that before you put another three course meal into your refrigerator, you should throw out the meal that is already there. Thatcher, like most Nigerian families overstocks his refrigerator until it can barely function. Being the very example of generosity, and goodwill I am extremely worried for my dear friend Thatcher.
If you know any individual in a similar position, then be a good Samaritan, and throw out some of the rubbish they’ve stored up.
Happy Days,
Afam.
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