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Part II
When I left you I was held fast in my seat by DJ Pizzle's beats, damn him! If not for him I would have made it home in time for Captain Reginald's supper. Captain Reginald is my Pedigree Rottweiler. Behold his dashing countenance below
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| Tell me, honestly, have you ever seen anything as handsome? How sparkly are his eyes? How lustrous is his coat? Are you not rendered completely speechless? |
First up on stage was a band of young lads. They were probably in their early teens. I cocked my head to one side and readied myself for the worst. I did not understand why I should have to listen to 13 and 14 year olds crooning. What could they possibly be singing about that I, Afam a 22 year old would find remotely interesting? I braced myself for the cringes that would rack my body with each bum note and unbelievably daft lyric. I was genuinely surprised that while they weren't amazing, they weren't awful. They were somewhere between average and bad, and as we all know this is at least five parts better than awful. I suppose they were just as good as Lana Del Ray is live. I cannot comment on their lyrical content as I didn't hear any of it.
Next on Stage was BEZ! Upon seeing him my body did an involuntary spasm. I fought tooth and nail to resist screaming, "BEZ, I LOVE YOU!! I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!" Yes, that is what I tend to scream at artistes that I really like. Yes, I am also aware that I can't have babies as I am a man. No, I would not actually like to have Bez's babies. It's just a controversial statement that I think is somewhat clever...
I also felt quite sorry for him because the crowd at the concert was the furthest thing from his fan base. It was full of young adults and children. You may not know this but I dislike children. They're loud, messy, grubby, mean, little things. I dislike them even more when they're fat. This is possibly because I, Afam was never a child. I was the brain child of a quiet soft spoken and rather handsome 21 year old fellow. I did not become awesome, I was born this way. There was a child sitting beside me. He was a fat 10 year old who felt that the most appropriate snack for the night was a never ending supply of ice-cream. I did my best not to look at him, for fear that I might explode him with my mind.
Bez was brilliant as always. He even covered ABC by Jackson 5. The dead crowd became a little less dead while he played that. It is unfortunately that while the crowd was a little less dead, they were still undoubtedly dead!
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| How can you doubt that he is a Super Sun? Behold his radiance!! |
And that folks is why they call me a SUPER WASHERMAN!!! My washing's so slick I don't need bleach. Sorry, that sounded a lot better in my head. :(
After Bez came a nice young woman in a black leather skirt. Her performance was rather interesting. I think she might be the one that did that Kilon Bubbling song. Well, at first she strode unto the stage and her male dancers did some rather odd movements. I will not attempt to interpret the movements for they like God are beyond mortal comprehension. She proceeded to sing a love ballad to a young man that was not me, Afam. So of course my attention wavered. It was during this performance that I saw Fisayo Longe of mirrorme.me. She wore the following:
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| I thought she looked rather nice. Don't be silly! Fisayo knows better than to wear shades indoors. I take no credit for the picture, it's one that Fisayo took herself and put on her blog: http://mirrorme.me |
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| This is the Lady that I cannot name. The dancer on her left is the one that graced the stage with her bottom. |
I should probably talk about the MC now. The MC was Tosan Mac Wilshire. I know of him but I can't say that I know him and this is a shame for he is quite the spritely fellow. I was quite frankly astounded at the ferocity with which he transported his ample body up and down the arena. He was a sight to see. His moves brought tears to my eyes. I thought, "With moves like those who needs game? Here is a lad who will do well in the wild!" That was until that your waist song came on. He moved his waist rather abominably.
After Tosan's antics came Seyi Shay. this may or may not be her name. I have to give her kudos because she was actually pretty darn good. It was the first performance where I did not have to think about the health of my ear drums. Half way through the performance she seemed to be taken over by her alter ego, who I named nick named Mammy (short for mammy water). I was thoroughly entertained by her antics on stage.
The next people on stage were the LOS boys. After watching their performance quite closely I came to the conclusion that they didn't make my sort of music. They might also have been drunk and/or high. Watching other people drunk or high while you are completely sober is no fun at all. You might think this harsh but I can think of no other explanation for this.
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| Only God knows why he sat down on stage. Maybe it's his thing. In which case I apologise for stating that they might have been drunk and/or high. |
When the LOS boys were done, J Ara took their place. This may or may not be his name. I can't say much about him. During his performance I visualized myslef finishing Halo 4. It is quite the enjoyable game. You should try it. If I were to choose a word to describe his performance it would be impactless. I'm Afam. I usually have an opinion about everything, so for J Ara to completely slip past my radar, you might not want him on yours. #justsaying.
After him, Ajebutter went on stage. He performed two songs, Omo Pastor and Senrenre. I was electrified. He was brilliant. The songs were brilliant. The crowd loved him. There's only one more thing I can say about his set, "it sweeted my body!!!!!"
I did that on purpose. If you cannot tell what it is that I did on purpose then I can offer English lessons at a respectable fee. So many are in need...
After him, Boj, Tee Zee and Fresh L (DRB) graced the stage. I'll be honest, it probably wasn't their best performance but it seemed to be about so much more than that. I thought it was a celebration of all that they had achieved since they started. They invited friends and family on stage and I spotted my childhood friend, Pappy there with them. Life's funny like that. People turn up when and where they're expected the least. When they were done, I rounded the troops as it was already past 11pm and I didn't think it appropriate that they be out any later than that. As I've said before, Lagos is intolerably exciting and I'd really like to avoid the Lagosian brand of night time excitement this Christmas. (Police and Thief? Afam and the Robbers? Adventure on that unlit war zone like road? Shoot out at the Crossroads?)
Happy Days, Merry nights,
Afam
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