Notes on Yoruba Demons

It is 2015 and it has never been harder for a woman to lock down a good husband or even a responsible bae. You see not only do they have to contend with the Johnnys that only aspire to leave them for Cynthia, they have to deal with the Yoruba Demons (also known as Yoruba Princes) too.

Many years ago, people thought of the Yoruba Demon as they did the Vampire. They believed that such creatures were strictly confined to folk lore even though they walked among us. This year, the demons have come out of the calabash.

Yoruba Devilry isn't an ethnic trait as previously thought. It wouldn't be wrong to say that is is an evil spirit, and this means that it is an inexplicable tendency that some Nigerian men seem to suffer from. It leads to the creation of an irresistible lusty beast with an indomitable sense of entitlement with regards to God's creations. They are mostly good looking, fairly wealthy and well groomed with exception of their feet which are immune to the effects of any moisturiser currently known to mankind. This results in an undispellable condition commonly referred to as ashiness.

I spoke to a woman who was so traumatised by her last encounter with one of them that she declined to give her name.

She said: "It was love the moment I set my eyes on his Fila. After that my life became filled with monthly bursts of love and affection. I didn't realise that his love only bloomed once a month because it spent the other days of the month blooming for other people."

I asked another how they could be identified.

"The first two spirits of the Yoruba Demon are the spirits of arrant longerthroatedness and insatiability. If you want to expose a Yoruba Demon then apply more starch to your agbada than him and he'll show himself. He'll come and ask you who your tailor is and the next time you see him, his agbada will be more resplendent than the wings of an angel." She said while laughing bitterly.

While Yoruba men may provide a face to the problem of male infidelity, it should be noted that the stories on the Nigerian gossip grapevine have tales of wandering men from several ethnicities. Lagos, a historically Yoruba state, is commonly thought to be the centre of these incidents. This is probably because promiscuity has more opportunity to thrive at the expense of monogamy in cities. If a man had to walk 12 hours for a quickie with someone other than his dearly beloved, he would probably love his beloved more dearly.

Just heading out to buy some credit. If there's no traffic, I'll steal your girl on my way home. pic.twitter.com/Ub8vGFwrTc

— WALE LAWAL (@WalleLawal) December 6, 2015

Happy Hunting,
Afam