PDP: POWER

Ah my famzers! Actually scratch that...

Initially, I tried to dictate that you would be called famzers, but you lot disagreed with me. You've named yourselves the Afamzers, and I shall have to live with that. Maybe one day I'll be able to come up with a blog post about the differences between famzers and Afamzers, but today we're going to talk about politics.

Some people think I don't like politics, but they're wrong. I just don't see why I need to talk about it all the time, and Nigerians get so heated about the bloody thing! I like a little heat, but I can't stand heat without purpose. You'll be screaming about our esteemed president Goodluck Jonathan, and corruption, but you'll be perfectly fine with being part of the problem. Don't even bother arguing. If you want to get into the subject of morality, there is no middle ground. There are only absolutes. For example...

Is corruption bad?

Yes.

Is it right for people to line their pockets with the National cake?

No.

When the uncle that you know received a contract for a road in 1990 but hasn't got round to actually tarring the road after 24 years gives you $1,000 do you take it or not?

Yes.

When the police stop you at a checkpoint is it corrupt if you hint that there'll be more for him if he doesn't go through with it?

No.

These are the answers the typical Nigerian would give. I'm not going to play these games in the on the blog. I'm no hypocrite... At least I try not to be.

Anyway apart from his relatively unproblematic capitulation Goodluck Jonathan there's one other reason why I didn't mind GEJ. It's thatthere has never been a president that has uplifted our spirits by making it so easy for us to laugh at him. I mean Nigeria has been more united in its hatred of him than it's ever been. He gave us  Dame Patience. You may say that in the time he's been in power the death toll of Nigerians in Nigeria as a result of violence, hasn't been higher since the civil war, but you fail to consider that we've never laughed so hard at one man's incompetence as we have in the last 6 or so years. A little laughter is always better than none, no?