If you're into perversions of an oriental nature like Hentai and Octopus pornography the hottest club in Lagos is Lotus. The club promoter is the cross between a Lebanese pangolin, a Jamaican swordfish and a Toyota, but he's got nothing on the architect. That one is a master of drunken technical drawing....

There's a trick to living in Lagos that I haven't learned. Here you must toe the line of civility without stripping your life of its vitality. It is a thing I have struggled with for no longer than half a decade. And it started when I first learned that my life was mine to do with as I pleased; to...

The truth is a thing I like to dispose of as soon as possible. If I sleep with it locked somewhere within me, it will become the knife of gossip which is only effective when tossed at the backs of the unsuspecting. At one party or the other, I'd meet Adesuwa Onyenokwe and say, "Good Evening Ma!...

If you're looking for a place to get gassed this weekend then no filling station will do, I've got just the place for you. Lagos' hottest club for all smokey adventures is Vapourssssssss. Located on the island's mainland this random convention is the creation of the perpetually high interior designer,...

It would not be incorrect to say I never intended to write this article. At least not today, and certainly not this way. I cannot say when I'd have written it, but I like to think that I would have at some point. There are some issues that are far too important to be left uncovered. A friend of...

Source: Wikimedia Commons/Georges Biard I'm a little too interested in gossip. I would feel guilty about it if the same weren't true of most of you. I was sitting in the car, miserable at the fact that my twenty minute drive home from work had somehow turned into a scene from a disaster film....

The weekend began like most before it. There was a week and then it ended. It went the way of most things in creation. Friday   At this point I was two Long Islands deep in the sauce. On Friday night, I ditched the Avengers for friends I'd made long before we became companions. Starmix had...

This is not Starmix, but that is me behind her. I must remember to thank Feyboo for the Bow-tie. I do not remember where any of the others are. Forgive me if this one is a little rusty. I have not written about an adventure in some time. It is not that I didn’t have any, such a thing is impossible...

I've been telling myself that I need to get out more. After all, it’d be impossible to cover Lagos or anything at all for that matter if I didn’t leave the beautiful nest of Mama and Papa Afam. They have a truly spectacular home. I am a happy guest. I imagine that in a month or two we’ll be bickering...

Some of you old afamzers may remember Ogilvy, my partner in love and other disasters. He's the only one I know that's as hopeless as I in all affairs of the heart. Still, we remain optimistic looking for shared dreams of flowers, chocolate and valentine's with other people. It is a truly depressing...

Source: Gidilounge.com If you're looking to get numerically done in this weekend, Lagos' hottest spot is three hundred and fifty-five. That's a three, a five and an extra five. Inspired by the collective mind fart of New York's Time's Square and a negative budget, this lounge is managed by a bespectacled...

Source: tukesquest.com If I ever said this to Feyboo in person I'd blush and then die of shame. She is the salt of the earth, a friend for the end of all things. It would be futile to ask myself what I have done to deserve her, because I know in my hearts what the answer is - not a thing. I count...

There comes a time in every bloggers life when they blow... This is a lie. Most of you idiots should quit while you're ahead, and leave it to us madmen. Seriously, I don't want to read about how your reconnection with your African history has led you to disturb your ancestors peacefully resting in the...

I will begin this one which is meant to be about Project Fame by talking about the Nigerian iteration of The Voice. You cannot talk about talent competitions in Nigeria that involve down on their luck singers looking for a come up without mentioning The Voice because that show changed everything....

Weekends make me insecure. At the start of the week, I typically tell anyone who'll do me the favour of listening that I'm perfectly happy spending my weekends at home, but come Friday, I can't sit still. My mind races through all the options like a crazed cheetah, and I remember the friends I haven't...

Chris Rock and Rosario Dawson in Top 5 Grandiose foolishness is a difficult thing to admit. In light of this, I will not declare that the reason for my silence is foolishness. The lessons that life tends to teach are without compare, greater than any that can be taught in a classroom. They come...