Meggings?

Photo: The Telegraph

Have you lot heard of this? I apologise because as a blogger being the last to hear about a possible trend is unacceptable. As a blogger you're meant to be up to date and well versed in the intricate details of every story as soon as it breaks. You're meant to stand ready at the gates delivering your commentary before the public knows what it is you are commenting about.

If you haven't yet heard of this you are terrible and you should thank me, Afam for bringing you up to speed.

Meggings, as you might have guessed are leggings for men. While I confess to being rather dandy, foppish and progressive I'm skeptical about this "movement" that's apparently taking the fashion world by storm. There are many reasons why you should think long and hard before you attempt it. I'll give you a few.

I'll start with the obvious. The defining feature of any man is that dangly thing in-between his legs and the two ball-like things in his sack. Yes, I mean his penis and his balls. I'm afraid that in a pair of leggings these things will be borderline offensive. Can you imagine going to pick up your child from daycare clad in such? With your boys on display like that you're practically a sex offender. You'll inspire all sorts of questions like, "mummy, what is that bulging thing between that man's legs, how come my ken doll doesn't have it?"

If you have a largish stomach and by largish I mean a stomach that is not flat then you'll probably end up looking like a pumpkin on toothpicks. This is and can never be a good thing.

Legs are something that many neglect in the gym. We focus on our arms, pecs and abs and forget that beneath them lie a pair of scrawny chicken-like appendages that should always be well covered. Those things you call legs should never be highlighted so. If you are the opposite of this and have legs that could stand to lose a few pounds then don't. Cellulite is real. No one wants to see yours.

Meggings are ridiculously difficult to pull off as you not only have to have the body of a demigod to wear them and look normal, you also have to have the temperament and personality of a rock legend. So before you jump unto this one give it a good think.

Happy Days,
Afam