Captain Reginald's Comments: Howling on the Manchunian Way

Who’s black? I am! My coat reeks with wealth. My socks are the most awesome shade of brown in the world. I am not like those half-breeds you see all over the place. I am descended from champions. My impressive build is only exceeded by my kind temperament and devotion to Afam. Afam is my sun and my stars. After my last post here I familiarized myself with his material and I was deeply wounded. How could the man that I adore conspire to shack up with another (especially a west highland Yorkshire terrier called snowy, or was it Asquith)?

I know you’re surprised too. How could anyone refuse the chance to shack up with this stud?

I was mad with rage. Afam had not only forsaken me but conspired to replace me. This could not go unpunished. As luck would have it I heard a call at the porch, “CAPTAIN!!!”. It was Afam. On a normal day that call would send shivers down my spine and send me into a state of frenzied excitement but not today. I stalked over, tensing my muscles all the way, making my resentment for him known through my vicious glare. Afam was perplexed. As he walked towards me I growled. He ignored me and kept on walking, so I did the most rational thing I could think of.

I ran back about 50 yards and charged at him as only a full grown Rottweiler can.. I leapt at him and slammed my ample body into his chest. This made him lose balance and just like that I was victorious. I stood on top of him as I would any of my prey but because I am physically incapable of causing him any real harm I did not bite him. Instead I farted in his face and trotted back to my kennel.

I can now confirm that Afam, is looking into shipping me to Manchester where we will terrorize all the peahens and bitches with our overly forward antics. By bitches I mean female dogs. Afam taught me well; if it is not a bitch then do not call it a bitch. There’s always a word that describes most aptly what it is that you mean to say. Contrary to public opinion there are some things that are irreplaceable. I am Captain Reginald (the first of his name) of house Afam. There has never been a Rottweiler like me, I certainly will not be replaced with a Yorkshire Highland Terrier.