Showing posts with label BEASTS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BEASTS. Show all posts

Captain Reginald's Comments: Howling on the Manchunian Way

12:11:00


Who’s black? I am! My coat reeks with wealth. My socks are the most awesome shade of brown in the world. I am not like those half-breeds you see all over the place. I am descended from champions. My impressive build is only exceeded by my kind temperament and devotion to Afam. Afam is my sun and my stars. After my last post here I familiarized myself with his material and I was deeply wounded. How could the man that I adore conspire to shack up with another (especially a west highland Yorkshire terrier called snowy, or was it Asquith)?
I know you’re surprised too. How could anyone refuse the chance to shack up with this stud?

I was mad with rage. Afam had not only forsaken me but conspired to replace me. This could not go unpunished. As luck would have it I heard a call at the porch, “CAPTAIN!!!”. It was Afam. On a normal day that call would send shivers down my spine and send me into a state of frenzied excitement but not today. I stalked over, tensing my muscles all the way, making my resentment for him known through my vicious glare. Afam was perplexed. As he walked towards me I growled. He ignored me and kept on walking, so I did the most rational thing I could think of.

I ran back about 50 yards and charged at him as only a full grown Rottweiler can.. I leapt at him and slammed my ample body into his chest. This made him lose balance and just like that I was victorious. I stood on top of him as I would any of my prey but because I am physically incapable of causing him any real harm I did not bite him. Instead I farted in his face and trotted back to my kennel.

I can now confirm that Afam, is looking into shipping me to Manchester where we will terrorize all the peahens and bitches with our overly forward antics. By bitches I mean female dogs. Afam taught me well; if it is not a bitch then do not call it a bitch. There’s always a word that describes most aptly what it is that you mean to say. Contrary to public opinion there are some things that are irreplaceable. I am Captain Reginald (the first of his name) of house Afam. There has never been a Rottweiler like me, I certainly will not be replaced with a Yorkshire Highland Terrier.





















Happy Days, 
Ecstatic nights, 
Howling on the Manchunian way.

Captain Reginald.

Heritage London MMXXII: Spam is good for you!

05:35:00
I am now a spambot, yes, I share my links incessantly. I facebook them, I tweet them. Today I looked at my facebook timeline and realized that there was nothing on it that was not blog related. When I'm not spamming, I'm writing and thinking about more innovative and compelling ways to spam. It's really quite extraordinary. As a result of this I'm very sensitive to spam. Whenever a link pops up on my livefeed, I click on it because I'm hoping that someone, somewhere is doing the same to mine. There was this link that kept popping up, http://heritagelondon.co.uk/ and because I Afam, am not only legendary but infinitely generous I clicked on it. It is truly extraordinary that I, Afam, a minor celebrity with 195 likes on facebook (LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE) should click on anything but I was particularly pleased that I did, because I saw this...

On seeing this, a lesser human being might have been thwarted fror while it was cool, it revealed nothing. I did the only sensible thing that I could be expected to do in such a difficult situation and scrolled down. No, don't be daft. I'm not going to tell you what I saw, you'll have to find that out for yourself by clicking on the following link http://heritagelondon.co.uk/.


After a lot of reading and clicking, I found that HERITAGE MMXXII (That's the year 2012) is a fashion label run by Melissa Nyasi and Danielli Ofori-Atta. Danielli was the one that spammed me. They'll have the following t-shirts on sale after today, as today is their launch.

All their t-shirts are £25. This one's quite cool. It's inspired by their original totem symbol. I have to say, I imagine that I'll look quite good in this. It's that alternatively cool look I've been trying out. It's just so chilled! It's called the Kenzo.

This one's their original totem symbol. As you can see it's the same as the one before it, except that the logo is tilted 90 degrees to the right and it's smaller. If you buy the one before it, you'll have to buy this one too. I mean, there's no reason not to. Get one in September, and one in October. You'll hardly notice that you spent the money and you'll get 2 pretty darn cool t-shirts too.

This one's the Salome. Apparently this is the one that started the movement. Without it, heritage wouldn't be what it is. It's so delightfully emo. It's definitely a t-shirt for the shallow, because it indicates that you've got some form of depth. It's the first part of a collection with three water colour pieces.

As far as I can tell, this is another version of the one above.
At this juncture I'm quite perplexed. It's like they took a mini stroll in my head and managed to produce a lot of the stuff I was thinking about and feeling. I realize that I'm in danger. I'm quite firmly entrenched in their catchment area. Apologies Papa Afam, I'm a lost cause.
This one's sure to get you noticed. The guy or girl that you think is ridiculously beautiful (We've been through this already, if women can be handsome, then men can be beautiful. I am a beautiful man. Mama Afam tells me so. Did I ever tell you that my nickname was Handsome?) will be sure to comment on it and then BOOOM CHAKA WAWA- you're in! If that conversation doesn't end with you collecting some digits then you shame me.

Yes! Keep talking to me. I can't be helped. I don't even mind that they're white and can only really be worn once before they have to go in the wash and I'm sure that once they get their feet in the ground they'll have several more delightful colours. I'm not myself. I can feel the money draining from my bank account already. Call me customer number 1. This is a great t-shirt too. I don't know what's on it, and that can only ever be a good thing because other people won't know either and then they'll have to ask you about it.

This one's nice, but I must confess that I'm quite relieved, because while I like it and if any one of my friends wore it I'll say great t-shirt buddy, I'm just not compelled to buy it.

This one's called Rahma, they say that it embodies mercy, peace and justice. I say, " I have a beast inside me, and it's dying to come out".

 Needless to say, I'll be getting quite a few of these. The only thing that could put me off at this point is how they fit. The fit of a t-shirt is often more important than the design on the t-shirt itself. But even if the fit sucks I can assure you that i'll get Rahma in XXL. My sister, Bintin adores massive t-shirts. She sleeps in them. Rahma looks like she'll keep the baddies away from her.

The t-shirts already have names so you don't have to think of them yourself. 

I wanted to improve my chances of getting a discount so I lassoed Danielli into my office for an interview. Stay tuned. 

Happy Days,
Afam


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