Happy Days, 
Ecstatic nights, 
Howling on the Manchunian way.

Captain Reginald.

I am now a spambot, yes, I share my links incessantly. I facebook them, I tweet them. Today I looked at my facebook timeline and realized that there was nothing on it that was not blog related. When I'm not spamming, I'm writing and thinking about more innovative and compelling ways to spam. It's really quite extraordinary. As a result of this I'm very sensitive to spam. Whenever a link pops up on my livefeed, I click on it because I'm hoping that someone, somewhere is doing the same to mine. There was this link that kept popping up, http://heritagelondon.co.uk/ and because I Afam, am not only legendary but infinitely generous I clicked on it. It is truly extraordinary that I, Afam, a minor celebrity with 195 likes on facebook (LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE) should click on anything but I was particularly pleased that I did, because I saw this...

On seeing this, a lesser human being might have been thwarted fror while it was cool, it revealed nothing. I did the only sensible thing that I could be expected to do in such a difficult situation and scrolled down. No, don't be daft. I'm not going to tell you what I saw, you'll have to find that out for yourself by clicking on the following link http://heritagelondon.co.uk/.


After a lot of reading and clicking, I found that HERITAGE MMXXII (That's the year 2012) is a fashion label run by Melissa Nyasi and Danielli Ofori-Atta. Danielli was the one that spammed me. They'll have the following t-shirts on sale after today, as today is their launch.

All their t-shirts are £25. This one's quite cool. It's inspired by their original totem symbol. I have to say, I imagine that I'll look quite good in this. It's that alternatively cool look I've been trying out. It's just so chilled! It's called the Kenzo.

This one's their original totem symbol. As you can see it's the same as the one before it, except that the logo is tilted 90 degrees to the right and it's smaller. If you buy the one before it, you'll have to buy this one too. I mean, there's no reason not to. Get one in September, and one in October. You'll hardly notice that you spent the money and you'll get 2 pretty darn cool t-shirts too.

This one's the Salome. Apparently this is the one that started the movement. Without it, heritage wouldn't be what it is. It's so delightfully emo. It's definitely a t-shirt for the shallow, because it indicates that you've got some form of depth. It's the first part of a collection with three water colour pieces.

As far as I can tell, this is another version of the one above.

At this juncture I'm quite perplexed. It's like they took a mini stroll in my head and managed to produce a lot of the stuff I was thinking about and feeling. I realize that I'm in danger. I'm quite firmly entrenched in their catchment area. Apologies Papa Afam, I'm a lost cause.

This one's sure to get you noticed. The guy or girl that you think is ridiculously beautiful (We've been through this already, if women can be handsome, then men can be beautiful. I am a beautiful man. Mama Afam tells me so. Did I ever tell you that my nickname was Handsome?) will be sure to comment on it and then BOOOM CHAKA WAWA- you're in! If that conversation doesn't end with you collecting some digits then you shame me.

Yes! Keep talking to me. I can't be helped. I don't even mind that they're white and can only really be worn once before they have to go in the wash and I'm sure that once they get their feet in the ground they'll have several more delightful colours. I'm not myself. I can feel the money draining from my bank account already. Call me customer number 1. This is a great t-shirt too. I don't know what's on it, and that can only ever be a good thing because other people won't know either and then they'll have to ask you about it.

This one's nice, but I must confess that I'm quite relieved, because while I like it and if any one of my friends wore it I'll say great t-shirt buddy, I'm just not compelled to buy it.

This one's called Rahma, they say that it embodies mercy, peace and justice. I say, " I have a beast inside me, and it's dying to come out".

 Needless to say, I'll be getting quite a few of these. The only thing that could put me off at this point is how they fit. The fit of a t-shirt is often more important than the design on the t-shirt itself. But even if the fit sucks I can assure you that i'll get Rahma in XXL. My sister, Bintin adores massive t-shirts. She sleeps in them. Rahma looks like she'll keep the baddies away from her.

The t-shirts already have names so you don't have to think of them yourself. 

I wanted to improve my chances of getting a discount so I lassoed Danielli into my office for an interview. Stay tuned. 

Happy Days,
Afam

Every man is entitled to his opinions. This is why I entertained a conversation with one Aran Koch about the handsomeness of a woman. I shall now relay the conversation.

Aran: Women can't be handsome fam :-s. (Smileys are the greatest gift given to us by the 2000s. Can you imagine life without them?)

Afam:They can

Aran: The women I'm with would disagree

Afam:Pah! They know nothing. A woman can be handsome. Take for example, Keira Knightly. (Keira Knightly is probably the most handsomest woman in all the land see below for proof.)



Aran: Afam, I feel as though you are digging yourself a hole from which you will have grave difficulty climbing out . To suggest that Keira is handsome would be a gross misunderstanding. She is a lady and therefore beautiful. Please correct this as I feel you're very much in the wrong. Kind regards.

Afam: There is nothing wrong with calling a woman handsome. Keira Knightly's jaw could have been surgically transplanted from a construction worker hence her face can no longer be described as being classically beautiful. Please refer to this quote you overgrown turnip “By a handsome woman, we understand one that is tall, graceful, and well-shaped, with a regular disposition of features; by a pretty, we mean one that is delicately made, and whole features are so formed as to please; by a beautiful, a union of both,” writes John Trusler in 1783's The Distinction Between Words Esteemed Synonymous in the English Language.

Aran: Regardless, I challenge you to find a women who would like to be called handsome ;) (That my friends is a wink). 

Afam: Crikey! Challenge accepted! 

enter Sir Tolu

Sir Tolu: How about this woman?(See creature below)

 Afam: Well done Tolu. The next time I see you I shall replace your head with a limousine.

I decided to do some social research.

enter Coks
 In primary school I believed Coks the height of beauty and good breeding. Her skin was the colour of the flesh of a mango. Her limbs were long and supple. As if all of that weren't enough she towered over me by more than a head. What can I say? I had good taste.

Afam: If someone called you handsome what would you think?

Coks: Me? As in a girl, handsome? 

Afam: Yah.

Coks: Personally I'd be fine... lol.

Coks: I'd assume the person had used the wrong word.

Coks: Don't call a girl handsome.
 
Afam: Would it be a compliment or...?

Coks: It really depends on how chilled she is as a person.


That wasn't very encouraging. I embarked on even more social research. This time I turned to my good friend's younger sister, Keji.
enter Keji
Afam: If someone called you handsome what would you think?

Keji: Lol, handsome??? (three question marks?)

Afam: Yes, handsome.

Keji: That I look like a man. :(.



My cause was losing steam. So I called on Starmix. She's usually a stronghold of support.
enter Starmix
Afam: If someone, I'll rephrase that, if I called you handsome what would you think?

Starmix: That I looked like a pretty boy.

Afam: Would you take it?

Starmix: I might, but why not spring for beautiful, or pretty. Surely you can find it within yourself to do better. 

Afam: But handsome is 2 parts better than pretty and less than a part worse than beautiful.

Starmix: We'll agree to disagree. I'm quite sure that there's a word for what you mean and it isn't handsome. Please refrain.

I know handsome may seem like an old-fashioned adjective when applied to women, but even the Urban dictionary defines a handsome woman as "A woman with the kind of refined beauty and attractiveness that requires poise, dignity, and strength of mind and character."

In conclusion, failed to complete my challenge for I could not find one lady who would be content with being referred to as handsome but the New York Mirror had the right of it when they declared “A handsome woman is handsome only in one way; a pretty one is pretty as a thousand.”  in 1832.

Many thanks to Coks, Starmix, Keji, Sir Tolu and Aran. Extra special thanks to  Autumn Whitefield Mandrano for providing me with several of the interesting quotes used in this post. http://open.salon.com/blog/the_beheld/2011/11/01/thoughts_on_a_word_handsome.

Happy Days,
Afam