Kilt guy at Lagos Fashion Week 2013

So someone wore a kilt to Lagos Fashion Week. Normally it shouldn't matter. Normally everyone would have been like, "Haha, check out that guy in a kilt." But this is not a normal situation. Fashion week this year, wasn't normal, and that's because, I, Afam, the Afamzing (Afam amazing- I have a guy that comes up with these things for me. He may or may not live in my head) was there. Now, I'm not going to let you bitch about it in the comment section. That's childish. If I'm going to bitch about something, I'll make damn sure that I'm viciously bitchy about it. Yeah, dudes can be bitches sometimes. I'm not going to be a bitch in this one though. I'm taking the higher ground.

Instead of writing things like, "what a nupty! He's obviously going through a mid life crisis" I'll launch a somewhat academic investigation into the whole affair/debacle. 

First of all let me begin by saying, that Kilts are foreign to Nigeria. In fact they're foreign to anyone who isn't Scottish, and as Nigerians are very black, and very African indeed, we're the furthest thing away from Scottish. So there is no proper reason why a Nigerian should ever don a kilt for a Nigerian event. It may be acceptable for a costume party, but it isn't what any grown man should wear to fashion week. If he were younger, I would had said that it was the spirit of youth that had possessed him, but he isn't. He's at least two decades too old for that sort of foppish behaviour.

Let's move on to the matter of underwear...  The traditional thing to do when wearing a kilt is not to wear any. I wonder if our dear chap did? It's a little bit of a strange thing to be wondering, but I got a shot of him sitting down, and that was the first thing that popped into my vulgar little head. 

Then we must consider whether or not he looked good in it. Because every fashion sin is forgivable if the offender looks good doing it. If Miley Cyrus was obese, we wouldn't be tolerating the fact that she hasn't worn clothes since February. The red shirt and red plaid combination isn't working at all, and the jacket he's wearing isn't meant to be worn with a kilt. And what's more, his sporran is missing. The sporran is the embossed leather pouch that kilt wearers wear in front of their crotches.  

The only logical conclusion I can come to is that homie's more than a little bit of an attention seeker. 

Happy Days, 

Afam