A little while a go, I wrote about how fucked up it was that I hadn't been featured in the Thisday STYLE magazine. Thisday is this incredibly popular Nigerian Newspaper. Anyway, they've got this stupendously popular magazine, called the THISDAY STYLE magazine, with the equally stupendous tag line, "If you're not in style than you're not in style." The last time I wrote about them, I spoke about how they were extremely fraudulent, because you really didn't have to be in style to be in style, and if that isn't a hoax, then I don't know what is. So I'm not as sore as I once was about looking in the Thisday Style magazine every Sunday and not seeing my sexy face, because who wants to be in a magazine like that? (everyone)
Anyway, last week Sunday, I was flipping through the magazine, when I noticed something that killed me. It really did. I very nearly died.
Who the fuck is Zoe Sultana? I googled it and nothing came up. And that shit isn't a fucking typo. Someone actually looked at this picture and thought, "Oh My God! That's Zoe Sultana, she's so fucking fabulous that I CAN'T BLOODY HANDLE IT RIGHT NOW. I'm totes going to put her in my magazine." And then the editor looked at the pages and thought, "BLACK GIRLS BE KILLING IT MMMHMMM" And then the editor in chief looked at it and though, "THAT CHICK IS HOT LIKE FIYAH YO! I NEED ME THAT SUIT!!" None of them noticed that there's no one in the entire world called Zoe Sultana. The printer probably looked at it and thought, "These bitches be cray, look at them calling Zoe Saldana, Zoe Sultana" and then he cracked up.
I've only got one question though. When something as shocking as this happens who do you fire?
Happy Days,
Afam
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