The Interior Designers Excellence Awards: Featuring Banky W, and Darey

Hey. How you doin? Yes, I dropped the g on purpose. I do that sometimes. I like to show off how ghetto and ratchet and hood I am. I imagine that dropping the g, earned me no fewer than 100 hood points. Let's get on with it shall we? I'll be quite direct today. You mustn't imagine that I've become any less long winded, and tedious than I usually am, it's just that I've been trying to write this for 2 hours, and I am sick and tired of it. So I'm going to give it to you, nice and rough.

I went to the IDEA awards with Mama Afam last weekend. I suppose it would be correcter to say I accompanied Mama Afam to the IDEA awards, but no matter. And yes, don't be knobs. I said correcter on purpose too. I don't see why anyone would say more correct, when he/she/it could say correcter. Even though correcter is undoubtedly wrong, it has a nice ring to it. I could have said righter too, but correcter is the way to go. Don't argue with me famzers (readers of the Ramblings of a Madman) I'm always correcter than you. 

Some Search Engine Optimisation right there!! Can I get an Amen? 

It would be correcter to say that I accompanied Mama Afam to the IDEA awards, because it was she that was invited, and not I, Afam, the magnificent, the gambian legend, an awesome Nigerian blogger, etc. ad infinitum. I really could go on, but not today. I'm not as obnoxious as that. Anyway, I tagged along. I wasn't too fussed about it to be honest. Mama Afam had been nominated for the best garden designer award, and I suspected that she would win. I don't know about you lot, but when your mother, the woman who was drugged out of her mind when some crummy doctor removed you from her stomach, wins something you REPRESENT. I carried the family DSLR and prepared myself for some epic picture taking. Mama Afam won, so taking the camera wasn't a complete waste of time, and I got the shot. 

That's Mama Afam and that star headed thing is the award. How exciting? It's got my heart-a-flutter. Don't worry about the camera man blocking my shot. If my imagination is as potent as I imagine then he's been suffering from explosive, militant diarrhoea. 

The IDEA awards are the Nigerian Interior Designers Excellence Awards, and they applaud and laud exceptional interior designers and architects. As far as these things go, it's very prestigious. It was certainly very well done. You can read more about them here: http://www.ideanigeria.com/home.php

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "So Afam's mum won an award. What's the big deal? What does that have to do with me?" And you'd be right. It's got nothing to do with you, but the fact that Mama Afam is quite possibly the best garden designer in Nigeria couldn't be ignored. That's how proud of her I am. The selling point of this article is the entertainment. 

The first people up were, these dancers below. They were incredibly serious and not terribly good. I know that I really shouldn't be judging dancers as I have no hand to eye coordination, but after watching all ten seasons of So You Think You Can Dance, all four installments of Step Up, I consider myself a little bit of an authority on the subject. They took themselves far too seriously, as you'll see below. 

You see what I mean? Why so frowny?

There's a Miley Cyrus fan in here somewhere. On an entirely different note, I dig their trousers. The slits needed to have been higher though. #FashionInspiration

After them came Zainab, a Nigerian Singer. She was really quite good, but for one horrendous note she hit. She came on with a contemporary dancer... She should have left him wherever she found him. His lines were non existent, and the skills he displayed only showed that he was best suited to flailing around like a drowning rat. I had a giggle at his expense. He was as funny as the comedian that came on later. I can't remember the comedian's name, or much of his set, so I shan't talk about him, and that's fair I think. 

That's Zainab. She looked nice. 

And this is her dancer. His feet are awful. But then again this is Nigeria, dancing isn't really a profession here. He's probably a banker during the week so it's understandable I guess. 

After them came Banky W, who's actually Darey's (the MC) cousin. I didn't know that... Banky W is a pretty nice guy as these things go. He took a picture with me in the summer, and that was a nice thing for him to do. I guess he could have said no, but if he had, I'd have blogged about what a twat he was. He didn't know I had a blog, so chances are, he's actually a genuinely nice guy. He also nodded to me when we were clubbing. As you can expect, I very nearly died. His acknowledgement is the only thing I've ever aspired to in all my whole life. His set was entertaining, and I suppose it isn't his fault that his singing face and his constipation face are identical. That was a joke. His singing face is actually fairly normal. He is a little on the expressive side though. 

Can you see what I mean? He wasn't singing or anything at this point, but his mouth was open. It made me uncomfortable. 

He bowed at the end.

Last, first and everything else in between was Darey. He was the MC of the event and he performed as well. He's a decent singer, but his rendition of the National anthem was a little odd. However, he did do it very well. That may have been the best rendition of the national anthem I have ever heard. 

She was pretty darn good. And that's probably Darey was looking at her like that. I was looking at her like that. 

And that's all for now.

Happy Days,

Afam

ps. Don't filch my pictures without telling me. I won't be pleased if you do. I might set my lawyers on you. I have two lawyers now. Well they'll be lawyers when they pass the bar.