I wonder what it was you saw when you first saw me. I wonder that the being you saw; the imaginary being you saw wasn't really me. You made excuses; but nothing could change the fact I could never really be that thing you saw. It broke you; it killed me. You can't have known how it felt to have an imaginary...

Betty, the whole world and I just had a conversation on twitter. The conversation was of no great physical or metaphysical importance until Betty asked for my help. I shall relay the conversation with immediate alacrity. Betty: Boys please help me understand something. Why do you say you like girls...

I wonder why blogger sees fit to alert me (Afam) whenever I (Afam) comment on a post. It is quite unlikey that I have forgot (forgotten) that I just commented on a post on my blog not up to 2 minutes ago. Regardless it is important that we congratulate blogger for their efficiency. On to more important...

One of the blogs I read judiciously, Through Hell and High Waters has posted a new feature (the link in the previous sentence will take you there). As a university proclaimed bachelor of the arts (my university went so far as to christen me Douglas in preparation for my new life as a bachelor). I...

I find it shocking that I have developed in such a way that my online presence might be greater than my actual one. The words I write almost never make it into actual conversation. This is both a good and bad thing because as witty as I may seem on twitter, skype and facebook chances are that if you...

As I write this feature, it is fifteen minutes to five in the morning. I just recently had the opportunity to examine the items that asos has on offer this summer. I apologize in advance for my sombre outlook but I can't be blamed. I have not seen the sun in over a week so I have come to the conclusion...

Following my posts about Topman and H&M it may come as a surprise to you that I have not become a fashion commentator. I love clothes, so it is only natural that I blog about them no? My reasons for resisting the allure are as follows: I love my Bank Account: Why put yourself through hours and...

I am like a child, I am capricious. I am human, I need... I want... I want even faster than I can think of wanting. Every thought seems tuned to the next thing I could possibly think about wanting. I am easily seduced by the things of the world. Had I the means I would be the ultimate consumer. I would...

Today I finished reading Pygmalion. It may come as no surprise to you that I enjoyed it immensely. The play by George Bernard Shaw is loosely based on the Greek myth of Pygmalion and Galatea. Pygmalion has been adapted into one highly successful musical and two movies: My Fair Lady and Educating Rita....

Enter Miss Leggy. For a while now I had been carrying this odd feeling in my breast (maybe odd isn't the right word to use here as my affliction is perfectly common) for a certain Miss Leggy. Miss Leggy is as aptly named as Miss piggy because her legs are as long as Miss Piggy is pig-like. Miss Leggy...

As some of you may know this weekend I stepped out to London town to attend Dabi's 21st. To those of you who know "Dabi" I apologise for my deconstruction of her name. Dabi's party was nteresting for several reasons. I will dissect the party into sagas and each saga shall contain a reason for it's specialness. The...

I apologise for the unprofessional length of time between this post and the last. I decided to take a break from blogging to experience life. So that I could then blog about it. It turns out that all I had to do was talk to my university pals. Sometimes you gaze outside when what you seek can be found...

I no longer have any doubts my friends, I am definitely cursed. A few posts ago I complained about the universe guiding me to the most ridiculous and enjoyable films in the world. It seems that the universe has turned its ever present gaze to television. I just sat through 47 minutes of a new dating...

Every man is entitled to his opinions. This is why I entertained a conversation with one Aran Koch about the handsomeness of a woman. I shall now relay the conversation. Aran: Women can't be handsome fam :-s. (Smileys are the greatest gift given to us by the 2000s. Can you imagine life without them?) Afam:They...

The time has come for me to examine the shorts H&M has in stock. I beg your pardon in advance if this feature (yes I will call it that, for I am now an official social commentator) is a little unfriendly. It is 3am and my neighbours have felt the need to bless the world with karaoke. Yes, even as...

After visiting topman.com, I thought only fair that I pay the same respects to H&M. I'll be honest, I don't usually shop at H&M so I was a little skeptical before I looked at what they had to offer online. The first thing I did when I looked at the website was tilt my head ever so slightly to...

I fear I am cursed. In the early hours of the morning I was forced to endure bedraggling levels of fuckery and buggery that left me scratching my head in shame. If you recall, I did myself the favour of watching Heartbreakers starring Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt. I never thought it possible,...

Me With Hackett, Didi and Georgie in the Kensington library 2008 My wardrobe is full of clothes and shoes. This isn’t very surprising because wardrobes, closets and drawers are meant to contain these things. In other news I turn 22 today, and my mum in a spot of some particularly good mothering and...